Mistakes (ON HOLD)
by Mina Lisly
Summary: Where is the line between good and bad? When do we stop being true to ourselves? Can one little bad judgement call make you feel less about yourself and turn your life upside down? Well, Clary is about to figure it out and learn the hard lessons of life, lust and love. {OOC/AH/AU} CLACE - Romance/Drama/Lemon/Angst - Beta:
1. Prologue

**My dear little broccolis ㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **~ I have been thinking lately, and I feel that it is not fair for the guests who don't have any notification to know when a story had been updated. So, this is me telling you that the update of my stories will be done between Friday night and Sunday night (UK time). Sometimes there will be several updates of the same story, if I'm not too busy,** **AND** **if my Betas (LilithRisen & ****dontjudgeabookbyitsmovie** **) isn't too busy as well. Don't forget that two persons are beyond each stories, now. The writer, and the editor. ? And yes, today is not a weekend day, but this is a little sugar to wait for the weekend. Haha.**

 **~ So this is a one-shot … So far. The reason why I am posting this on a different page than** ** _Through Times And Space_** **, is that this one-shot is open to become a whole story. I will let you read this little something I came up with, and then, READ the author's note at the end to know more about it.**

 **~ Also, know that this story is rated M, because at that point, you all know that I am a perv. But the theme of this story is also something that I don't usually do, so be sure that you want to go down that road. Just be assured that there is no abuse or self-arm here. Anyway, you know that I love you ㈏4㈏4㈏4**

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 **Chapter 1** **: In The Middle Of The Night (5,7K)**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Clary's PoV.**

 **.**

Clary never considered herself a bad person. She wasn't a good girl, but still, she was a good person. She had morals. She donated to charity. She rarely talked badly of someone who wasn't there to defend themselves. She never killed or injured anyone on purpose. So, yes, Clary considered herself a good person.

Until that day…

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

For as long as she'd known it, Clary believed in happily ever after. She believed in love, and the power of it and how much good it could do a person. She just thought it wasn't for her.

Her parents had the perfect love story. They were highschool sweethearts, and never doubted each other, and barely ever fought over things more trivial than what tv show to watch during game night. Their relationship was strong and worth a Hollywood movie, minus the drama and probable death of a villain. After all, they were each other's first love. They covered all the bases included in long lasting love, including the random flowers delivered to Jocelyn and the lunch trips with a picnic to Valentine's were simply in love, and therefore the perfect couple to be raised by.

Jonathan, Clary's older brother, was slowly getting more and more involved in his relationship with Izzy. They met a year ago at work, and were almost inseparable now. Clary always liked the way Jon would look at Izzy as if he was a blind man seeing the sky for the first time, every time Izzy would appear by his sides. Jon had never been a ladykiller, but he'd never been a romantic either. Until Izzy came into his life.

Clary didn't have that luck. She didn't fall for many guys, and when she did it never worked out for her. There was always something wrong with her that made all her relationships fail. Her father didn't mind that much, because he 'didn't want to see his little girl settle so quickly'. Her Mom was prone to say that she should simply be patient. But when Jon used the L word to refer to Izzy, that's when Clary decided that she was not made for love.

After all, what can a twenty-five years old girl do when she seemed defective in the romantic relationships department? All her friends were in steady relationships, ready to get married, to have kids, and she simply wasn't. She couldn't even keep a boyfriend for more than six months. Love was simply not made for her.

So she decided to stop waiting and looking for love. She was just one of those people who would die alone, filling her nights with hookups until she's eventually eaten by cats and only remembered by her parents and her brother. She was the eternal bridesmaid, but never the bride. She made a sort of peace with it. What could she do? Strap a guy in the apartment she shared with Jon until he would rightfully fall in love with her?

So now, she was enjoying life as it was coming. Not getting herself involved in any sort of relationship for the past year and hooking up with a few guys. It wasn't as fun as it seemed, because guys were hard to get, and even harder to convince of this one time thing. Who would have thought that guys liked the idea of settling more than girls? Maybe not as radically as girls, but still.

And this is how she ended up in a hotel room with some guy that she met at an event that her company threw. The guy didn't keep his eyes off of her all night, and she would be lying if she said that she didn't feel attracted to him as well. He was more than good-looking, he was gorgeous. It looked like he was straight out of a movie or a magazine.

Clary had never been into blonde guys. She was more into dark haired, green eyes guys; but still, this man caught her attention amongst the crowd. Maybe it was the tall height and lean build that stood out amongst all the corny designers. Maybe it was the bronzed hair that fell so perfectly around his sharply planed face, framing those beautiful molten eyes. Or maybe it was the way he looked at her, as if he had bid thousands of dollars at a silent auction and she was his prize he was waiting to claim She didn't know, but still, something in him made Clary's insides curl.

And even though Clary had always been rather confident with herself when it came to guys, she didn't go talk to him. Something inside her was telling her not to do it, and over the years, she learned to always listen to her instincts. So she just stared from afar, thinking that she could still use her imagination later at night to satisfy the urges that he awoke from her.

Still, fate made it its business to interfere in her life. They met at the elevator while people were still enjoying themselves at the part, no earlier than at least one in the morning. Though no matter how tired Clary was, she recognised him instantly. She was going down, back to her apartment that she knew would be empty since Jon was out with Izzy; and he was most likely going up, back to one of the hotel rooms offered in skyrise to event guests. The whole time they waited for the elevator, neither of them said a single world, apparently both determined to avoid each other's eyes; but then the elevator arrived, and Clary's cheery boss stepped out surprisingly. His eyes lit up with fake surprise when he saw the man next to her, holding out a welcoming hand.

"Mr Wayland! Hoping to skip on me, I see!" Hodge accused with a very friendly tone, even though Clary easily saw the edge of frost buried with the experience of working in relation with clients.

This was probably one of the reason why she liked Hodge more than just as her boss, but also as a friend. He was a jovial man in his late sixties with the attitude of a young man, and also an acting grandpa whenever she needed advice. For some reason, he was one of the only people who understood her deal with love, and she always respected him for it.

The man, Mr Wayland, shifted a little so Hodge could get out of the elevator; and he explained after he shook the outstretched hand. "Nice to see you, Mr. Starkweather. I think the jet lag is finally catching up on me. I'll see you in the morning during the consultation brunch, I'll be more humorable than likely."

At the sound of his voice, Clary almost silently melted right next to her boss. Maybe she had never been into blondes, but men with deep voices had always been her weakness. And if Mr Wayland's voice was anything, it was deep. Deep, calm, sure of himself. Clary felt it resonate to her very core.

She shook her head to dismiss any naughty thoughts she could have. At least until she would be alone. After all, nothing was prohibiting her from imagining things she could do to Mr Wayland's body … With urgency, Clary pressed on the button of the elevator, when Hodge's older voice brought her to reality:

"Maybe I should let Clary sell you the benefits of working with us. She's my favourite employee. Mostly because, besides being very popular with bringing in clients, she always brings delicious homemade cupcakes on Mondays."

Clary politely smiled at the compliment, making a mental note to chide Hodge later for making her sound like a hooker.

It was as if he didn't want to, as if he was forced to flicker his eyes in her direction; but still, he did it. And as soon as his golden eyes focused on Clary's, he held her gaze, forbidding her to even think of looking elsewhere.

It seemed as if the world stopped spinning beneath their feet for a second and everyone ceased to exist. Everyone but them. His eyes were deep, smouldering and she didn't bother fooling herself. He wanted her, Clary could feel it. It was like he was pulling her into himself just through that stare, drowning her into an incommensurable desire that she was gladly falling for.

Imperceptibly, he leaned a little bit closer to her, when Clary finally remembered Hodge's presence next to them; and so she tore her gaze away, looking back at her boss with that same polite smile that she had from the beginning.

"I'm sure that … _Clary_ is absolutely wonderful at her job. But like I said, jet lag is catching up on me, and I need a clear mind before making _any_ sort of decision," Mr Wayland said with a voice that was calling for no argument, though Clary could swear that it was more hoarse than the first time he talked.

Hodge made a small pout, before turning his friendly face to Clary and delegating with a teasing voice whatever task he had to accomplish with Mr Wayland, on her: "Take care of him then, dear. I want him to say yes tomorrow morning, Clary. Whatever it takes."

The three of them chuckled under the rules of propriety, and Hodge left the two young people to head back to the party, not without playfully looking at them first. Clary distinctively heard Mr Wayland's breathing get deeper as soon as they were alone again, and she pushed the button of the elevator once again all the while wondering if it wouldn't be better for her to just take the stairs at this point. She was about to combust just by standing next to him outside the elevator, so what would it be like in an enclosed space?

She shivered slightly just thinking about it.

With resolution, Clary cleared her throat so she could inform the man standing next to her that she was going to take the stairs; when the elevator doors dinged and opened. Mr Wayland held his hand to the doors and gallantly indicated her to go first with a heated look, and Clary had no other choice than to get into the elevator.

"Up or down?" Mr Wayland asked, his voice further than Clary expected. She murmured that she was going down, her eyes cast upon the floor. But still, her peripheral vision caught a glimpse of something she wasn't supposed to see as the elevator went up. And before she knew it, she was looking back up, locking once again their gaze together.

She felt her heartbeat accelerate, the current of heat underneath her skin rising, and desire sparking all of her nerve ends in a catastrophic firework. She didn't think that she felt an urge so strong ever since she's been sexually active, and a part of her mind was scowling her for putting her body under so much frustration when she could feel so much better by just letting go. And just as she thought that she would overdo her instincts, and just satisfy her urges to jump on that man, Mr Wayland was behind her.

His voice was hot, low and hoarse right against her exposed neck. "Oh, fuck it."

Clary didn't give herself time to process. She just let go as they reached for each other at the same time.

She turned on her heels, and his arms were instantly there. Their bodies collided at the exact same moment their lips meet. He was overwhelming, consuming, his lips hard and demanding against hers. Her mouth opened willingly against his pressure, all of her gasps and moans swallowed without sound. One hand fisted in her hair and the other pressed against the small of her back. Inhaling sharply, Clary felt him pressed against her stomach, and she felt her knees go weak as she sagged against him, looping two arms around his neck and weaving her fingers into his silky hair, needing to hold onto something to remind herself she wasn't dreaming.

He was walking her backwards, and she barely noticed the slam as his hands catch up her wrists and hold them above her with bruising pressure. She wasn't complaining, only reaching out with her teeth and catching his full lower lip. Clary tugged with no hesitation, awarded with a deep groan that reverberated throughout her.

He pulled away savagely, and his lips moved to her jaw and worked his way down Clary's neck. She tilted her neck back willingly, panting hard against his burning brand against her skin. His fingers dug in, hard, on her thighs exposed by the slit of her dress, giving him the leverage to lift her up and position himself between her legs. She hooked her ankles around his hips without question, the lack of his lips on hers leaving nothing to block the drawn out moan at the feel of him hard and insistent between her legs. She didn't even care.

still attacked her neck with an angry force, and she could feel the dark grin against her neck at her short, stifled yells each time he pushed himself against her with force. In a desperate attempt to keep a little bit of control over herself, Clary knotted her fingers even tighter in his hair and bit her lower lip, hard. But before any of them could start getting carried away, the elevator doors dinged pleasantly, announcing the top floor.

Mr Wayland tightened his hold on Clary, letting go of the skin of her neck to kiss her lips again; and he walked them out of the elevator. They never stopped making out all the way until his room, though Clary vaguely wondered how he managed to carry her and open the door of his hotel room at the same time. But the thought was quickly dismissed when he surprisingly delicately lied her down on the bed. All she could think at this instant was to get this gorgeous man on top of her.

But he actually put some distance between them, straightening up suddenly, eyes wide and dark, and his breath hard. He seemed even taller looking down at her, a hand fisted in his hair.

"You shouldn't be here," He finally said, his eyes looking everywhere but at her; and Clary swallowed the hurt that the determination of his voice inflicted on her. She was too horny, and too drunk to let it show, anyway. So instead, she rose slowly to her feet until she stood as close as you could to a person without touching them, craning her neck to take him all in.

"Don't you want me?" She asked innocently with less than pure eyes, watching him suck in a hard breath as she reached out and felt him through his trousers with the lightest touch. His adam's apple moved as he swallowed hard, tipping his head back with obviously weakening resolution.

"I should say no," He replied roughly, but he still looked at her with the look he regarded her with before pinning her to the wall. "I should tell you to go away, because I am _not_ that kind of man, no matter how I just made it look, and we shouldn't be doing this."

If she had been less horny and more sober, Clary would have probably seen clear through his words. If she hadn't been so sure that he wanted her as well, she would have called it a quit. But she didn't. She just luxuriously smiled up at him with a red lipped smile she knew damn well could make the strongest men fall, her fingers already subtly pulling his belt out of the loops.

"Maybe you should, Mr. Wayland…" She trailed, not missing the way his breath caught in his throat at the sound of his name.

Her fingers hooked inside his waistband, pulling down his slacks and boxers in one smooth moment. She paused a moment to take him in, the ball inside her stomach tightening deliciously; before she slid down to her knees and peered up at him under her lashes. His eyes widened as he realised her intentions, his hands fisting at his sides.

He was about to retort something, but Clary cut him off by wrapping her mouth around him. With satisfaction, she heard him groan angrily as his hips involuntarily jerked upward, pushing him a little bit further into her mouth. One of his hands wrapped its way into her hair almost as if he wasn't aware of what he was doing, just responding to human nature. Feeling a small lick of satisfaction unfurl inside her, Clary made it her personal mission to make him lose any sort of control.

That was what she liked the most about going down on a guy. Of course, she liked being the cause of their pleasure, but what she liked the most was knowing that she could make them lose that control they were so proud of having. She loved being in complete power of any sort of pleasure at that exact moment, and she loved how this position could show the true nature of a guy, and it worked spectacularly well on Mr. Wayland.

So, after taking him as deep as she could in her mouth, she let go a little of his length and swirled her tongue around the tip of his member, earning a loud, guttural groan moving through his body and only spurring her on. His hand tightened in her hair but still resisted from taking control, letting her have free reign over him.

She kept on playing with him for a few minutes, her tongue following his sensitive vein and dangerously teasing his nerves. She couldn't hear anything apart from his uneven breathes and harsh pants, the humming of her own mouth against him. And at some point, he had enough of her torture. Mr Wayland made a low, dark noise of frustration before stepping away and yanking her off of her knees to throw her onto the bed.

Without having have to be asked, Clary removed her dress while keeping her eyes on him as he did the same, all reservations obviously gone. It took barely a second until Mr. Wayland was naked, hands pushing her down onto the bed and lips demanding another kiss as he shifted between her legs; but Clary stopped him before he could even try to do anything else.

She pulled away from his lips, annoyance colouring her tone. " _Wait_ , aren't you forgetting something?" She always hated having a 'condom talk' in the middle of having sex, because she always felt that it was slightly ruining the mood. And this time wasn't any different.

Mr Wayland seemed a little bit taken aback by her words, like he didn't understand what she was talking about. And so, Clary heaved with exasperation and reached for her purse on the floor, quickly grabbing a condom from the pocket and handing it to him. His eyes sparkled with understanding, and he took the protection out of her hands. Clary waited a few seconds before Mr. Wayland grabbed her by the back of her neck and pulled her up and into a kiss, one that spoke of something much more promising and darker than any kiss in the elevator. She moaned from anticipation, keeping a memory of that kiss in her mind for further use during lonely nights.

Clary couldn't help but yelp of pleasure once he was finally inside her. For a moment, neither of them moved, Clary groaning softly against his neck. She hesitantly pushed her hips forward, waiting for him to react. Oh, _and he did._

With a sudden, aggressive force, Mr Wayland started pounding into her ruthlessly, his left hand fisting tightly a handful of her red hair as the other was marking her thigh. She tipped her head back and let out groan by groan, her entire body rocking because of him. At each of his thrust, Clary felt something build up in her lower stomach, that sweet agony that she loved so much. And though she was thrilled to feel it becoming stronger by the minute, she held on desperately for a few moments longer before she let loose. His body against hers, the hunger and lust he took her with, it needed to last.

Mr Wayland seemed to be everywhere. His hips thrusted without letting up on his punishing rhythm, while his free hand savagely ran all over her body and created even more chaos amongst her. His lips were sucking on the junction of her neck and shoulders, biting down with just the right amount of pleasure. Clary could feel her peak coming, and she wished she knew his name, and not only his surname. Somehow, saying 'Mr Wayland' felt like it would break whatever connection they had at the moment. So, she bit her lip to hold her cries, and moaned even louder as Earth started shattering beneath her.

"Jace," He growled in her ear in an uneven, as if he heard her thoughts and pounding impossibly harder into her, making her scream out of pleasure.

Clary closed her eyes, enjoying her bliss to the fullest, feeling it coming in waves to her; and when Jace suddenly pinched her nipple with bruising pressure, all the while keeping his hard and angry thrusts, she couldn't help the " _God, Jace_!" That escaped her mouth as her insides went limp, turned into mush, her back arching into Jace and lifting off the mattress.

Jace slowed a bit, letting her get down of her cloud nine, yet, still thrusting in her; and though she had her eyes closed, Clary could still feel his hot gaze on her. She smiled with that post-bliss glow, and felt his hand caressing her face, making her snap her eyes open at the unusualness of this gesture.

As soon as she met his golden eyes, he clashed their lips together and increased his rhythm again. His tongue invaded her mouth while both of his hands grated her body downward, nails lightly scratching at her skin and making her squirm. When his hold was at her hips, he moved suddenly, standing on his knees while he was holding Clary by the waist, half of her body in the air. Not that she was complaining with this new position. Jace had angled his hips in a certain way, so that now, he hit her in that special spot that guys so rarely found.

This time, he went even harder on her, making a minute before look like child's play. He felt urgent against her, rougher, his groans joining her whimpers and heated whispers of his name underneath her breath. His grip on her hipbones burned into her, and Clary already knew the bruises that would pepper her skin tomorrow.

She could see pearls of sweat forming on his forehead, the wild look in his eyes as he stared down at her, and before she knew it, he thrusted inside her so hard she couldn't help the scream that ripped up her throat as he stayed there, groaning out profanities as he found his release.

He paused, attempting to catch his breath, but Clary wasn't finished yet; and so she circled her hips slowly, wrapping her four limbs around his hard body and moaning at the sensation. He was still rather hard, which was perfect for her, especially when he snaked his hand between them and stroked her with light, teasing fingers, all the while letting her get her high as she wanted. When the pressure started building back again, she closed her eyes and snapped her head backward, biting her lips; and Jace leaned in, increasing his movements as he hushed in her ear with a sleepy danger: "Come for me, Clary. Let me see you come undone beneath me, once again."

A sharp thrust accompanied his last words, and without further indications, Clary let go, swearing loudly as her body finally released all the tension it built up. Out of breath, she tried to steady her heart as Jace rolled out of her, landing next to her in the mess of sheets. For a minute only his panting breath and her quiet gasps filled the hot air. This was her least favourite part of one-night-stands, the awkward moments after. But before she could try to gather herself to get up and leave, Jace was back next to her, securing her in his arms as he murmured: "If I wasn't so tired, I'd take you right away all over again. You are so hot when you come."

His voice was even deeper than before, and heavy with sleep. Clary could tell that he was seconds away from slumber, and she pondered with herself to try and argue that she should go. But she missed cuddling, and he was already half snoring, not to mention that she was down right tired herself and could already feel the aches setting in. So, she allowed herself this little dent in her hookup rules, and fell asleep in the mess of sheets.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

When Clary woke up with the weight of an arm on her body and the feeling of something hard against her lower back, she couldn't help but smile. It had been a long time since she had morning sex. Ever since her last relationship. Usually, she never allowed a guy to sleep with her because it always led the guy into thinking that they could start something more casual than a one time thing. And still, she spent the night with that guy. Jace Wayland. And apparently, she was not going to regret it.

"Morning, beautiful," He said roughly, his deep voice slightly hoarse and making Clary weak in her knees. Deep voices were _definitely_ a big turn on for her.

She was about to brutally bring them back to reality by stating the obvious, that she needed to leave; when Jace's fingers found their way in her. She whimpered, her body folding into him and tipping her neck back, letting Jace's biting kiss return to her neck. A low moan escaped her lips before she could contain it. After all, what bad could come out of this?

"Mmm, that feels good," She let him know in an airy voice, rubbing her ass against his erection as his fingers kept on making her _'feel good_ '. She felt his lips spread into a smirk as he replied, fingers casually flicking against her.

"Does it?"

"Mmh mmh. Really good!" She ended with a yelp when he slipped one of his fingers deeper inside.

And suddenly, she felt something else than fingers. Something that wasn't flesh, and wasn't as hot as a human body part. Something that felt like metal. She froze for a second, analysing their position and trying to figure out which one of his hands was in her; and her heart missed a bit. "What the fuck?" She cried out as she manoeuvred out of his tight grip, jumping out of the bed and staring at the faulty hand.

There, catching the morning sun's light, was a golden ring. A plain, thick gold band, circling the fourth finger of his left hand. " _Oh God_! You're fucking _married_!" She accused, stating the obvious with horror and anger.

Jace got out of the bed himself and made a move to walk to her, his hand reaching for her arm as a confused scowl was clouding his face; but Clary jumped back so there wouldn't be any contact between them. " _Don't!_ Don't talk to me! Don't touch me!"

She realised that the two of them were naked, and so she bolted to her cloths sprawled on the floor, cursing at herself and her stupidity. How come she didn't see or feel the ring yesterday night? When his hands were all over her?! How did this simple and yet important detail pass through her eyes? How did she end up in this situation?! And why didn't he say anything? At least some fair warning to tell her the kind of situation she was getting herself into.

" _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck_!" She cursed underneath her breath, barely taking time to get properly dressed. As soon as she had her underwear and dress on, she rushed out of the hotel room, blocking out any half-assed talk that Jace could try to feed her with.

She had her purse hanging from a finger while her heels were clutched in her hands, and when the elevator doors opened for her, she dashed in it, pressing the stop button as soon as the doors closed. Once she was sure that she could let go, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. It was obvious that she had an agitated night, her red hair was all over the place, some of her curls even turning into frizz. Her makeup was smudged, and she thanked herself for being the natural makeup kind of girl, so she wouldn't look like a horror movie monster at the moment. With all the difficulty of the world, Clary swallowed all the while tucking her clothes properly, and then, she finally dared looking straight into the green eyes of her reflection.

Clary never considered herself a bad person. She wasn't a good girl, but still, she was a good person. She had morals. She donated to charity. She rarely talked badly of someone who wasn't there to defend themselves. She never killed or injured anyone on purpose. So, yes, Clary considered herself a good person.

 _Until today …_

 _Today_ , she became the _other woman_. Today, she was that girl that she hated so much. Today, she was the home-wrecker. She always blamed the parties equally when it came to cheating people. Two were needed to cheat. But today … today she felt dirty. She felt that she was more to blame than he was. He tried to shoo her off, and she still pursued with drunken, insane reasoning, claiming she was doing whatever it takes. She felt like she was … _a whore_. Not because she had randomly sex with some guy, but because she helped a man betray the trust that a woman put in him.

And so, as her reflection was scowling her for her reckless and reprehensible behaviour, Clary fell on her knees and cried, shame and guilt clouding her heart.

.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **‼️** **READ THE NOTE BELLOW‼️**

 **㈏4Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed㈏4**

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 **~ So, first of all, I want to make something clear. It** **'** **s not because a woman wants to live her life without relationships getting in her way, that it makes her a failure. It's not because you're a woman that you can't have one-night-stands, or that you should feel guilty about them. Women can do whatever the hell they want with their body and mind as long as it doesn't affect other people** **'** **s lives.**

 **~ Now, that being said, this happens to be a little something I came up with, I don't even know how. I just came up with it. So, here is my proposition. I could turn this one-shot into a real story, if you are up for it. If I do so, know from the start that this will be a cheating story. Like it was just stated upward, Jace is married to someone that is not Clary. They have a five years difference so he is 31 while she is 26, and he is only married, there are no kids involved. I can promise you a happy ending for Clace. A real happy ending, and not a sour one, but a real dovey lovey happy ending. But I can also promise drama before getting there.**

 **~ Know that this is something that I never do. I never let people know of the outcome of one of my stories, because I feel like cheating on them (pun non intended), and ruining the story for them. But I know that some of you might get thrown off by the cheating approach of this story. I just want to give you something to hang on to, if you are even interested in turning this into a story, anyway.**

 **~ So let me know if you are up to turn this into a story, or if I should just let it the way it is.**

 **Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9 Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


	2. Chapter 1 — The Matters Of Karma

**My dear little broccolis ㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **~ I can't believe how enthusiastic you guys are about this story. Just to give you a rough idea, we are above 1K views, 72 reviews, 57 followers and 26 favourites.** **This is insane!**

 **~ So yeah, did you notice either the 'next** **' button, either the mail in your inbox. This is turning into a story. A full length story, not even a short one. Like I already told you, drama will definitely be here. There will of course be angst as well, so this me being nice and warning you about it all.**

 **~ This story actually grew on me (yeah, because I already know how I will play it and how everything will happen), but I do not promise fasts updates. Mostly because well, like I keep on saying, I have betas with me and we have to coordinate both our schedules. Plus, did you notice how long this chapter is? It** **'s long! So it takes time yo write, then read all over again, then get it edit by my beta, then, get it ready for fanfic. So daily updates won't happen for this story.**

 **~ Anyway, I want to also give a shoutout for my beta LilithRisen who had the patience to edit this massive** **chapter, without fainting when she saw the length. Haha.**

 **~ Love, Mina ㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **.**

 **Chapter 1** **: The Matters Of Karma (7,2K)**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Clary's PoV.**

 **.**

Clary never gave much thought about karma. For her it was a thing that was made up to prevent bad people from doing bad things. Since Clary's been a good person in the past, she never really considered what consequences could be leering around the corner. The idea had always been around. But still, never in her life, did she think that karma was catching up on her.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

With her heavy heart full of guilt, Clary did her best to regain the little dignity she had left, as she looked once again at her reflexion in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy, standing out on her devastated face, her cheeks soiled by the remains of her salty tears. It had been such a long time since she cried, that she felt strange about it. She had forgotten how much crying could wear someone out, how it triggered a headache from spilling so many tears, how it made her throat sore. Most of all, she had forgotten how much crying never made her feel better.

After making sure that she could appear presentable to the outside world, Clary released the elevator, letting it take her to the lobby that she fled as if the plague was anew. Instead of calling a cab to take her home, she settled on walking, knowing that the fresh air of the morning would help her calm down.

She knew that her brother would chastise her for walking alone from Manhattan to Brooklyn at such an early time, at any time actually; but the hour long stroll helped her clear her mind from anything that she felt or did last night. During her walk, she tried to think about nothing at all. After a certain point, she started focusing on the ache in her feet from her high heels. She didn't think of the way people were looking at her, dressed with a gown that was out of place on the streets, she didn't think of the fact that most people were assuming she was doing her 'walk of shame'. She just walked, her mind empty, and her feet on the verge of going numb.

Once she arrived by her building, Clary patiently listened to her elderly neighbour, Madame Dorothea, talk about her arcade of cats. Jon and her lived in one of those old townhouses that were turned into a two story apartment buildings. The bottom floor was owned by Madame Dorothea, while they were living on the top floor. Jon had found the apartment when he came to New York City after he graduated, and Clary replaced his old roommate as soon as she graduated herself, four years later.

It would be the eight year anniversary that they had been living together, and to be honest, Clary was considering moving out once her brother got married. She didn't think she would be able to keep living in the apartment where she shared so many memories with him, when he would be gone, living with Izzy. Though, if she moved out, Izzy and Jon could keep the apartment. She didn't like thinking of the future, as near as it was, because it saddened her to have to face the future alone. After all she had always been with her family, and never on her own, this was something that frightened her, even if she liked to pretend otherwise.

When she opened the door of their apartment, Clary finally lost the mundane facade that she had built up for her excursion outside, but she didn't dare let go of her emotions when she saw her brother's shoes lying across the hallway. With a frown, she removed her own before picking up her brother's to put them in their proper place, and she glanced around in search of Izzy's shoes. She didn't find any shoes that didn't belong to her or Jon.

Clary looked at her brother's door with concern, wondering why he was here without his fiancé. When she had left the apartment last night, Jon was already out with Izzy for their date night. Clary hesitated before going to see him, but she figured that since it was eight on a Saturday morning, Jon was probably still sleeping, and would kill her if she woke him up so early.

She tiptoed her way to the bathroom, and stripped, throwing her clothes in the laundry basket before slipping into the bathtub. For a second, she hesitated between a bath and a shower, but settled on the latter. She didn't know how long she stayed there, under the burning hot water, thinking of nothing but the deafening silence that the water was bringing her. She was only interrupted by the heater which abruptly stopped providing her with heat and turning the water dangerously icy.

Clary refrained herself from cursing, quickly getting out of the shower, steam following her now red body. She wrapped herself with a towel, quietly stepping her way to her room, hoping that Jon didn't wake up while she was in the shower. She knew she looked like a mess, and the last thing she wanted to do was try to explain her foul mood to her brother. She didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes.

It was only when Clary was in her bed, wrapped under her covers, that she let herself go. One by one, tears crept into her eyes, her silent sobs shaking her body. She clung onto her childhood teddy bear. It was in moments like this that she was glad to never have gotten rid of it. She cried her eyes out, not letting a sound come out of her mouth, and feeling like the worst person in the world.

How did other women do it? How could they live with the guilt? How could some of them knowingly agree to do such things? Clary never thought that much of mistresses, and cheating husbands because she always had this perfect example of pure love that were her parents. So she naturally thought that this was the normal way of living, and that everything else was a rare case. Even in her past relationships, if things didn't worked out, it had never been because one cheated, it was just because something went wrong.

How was she supposed to live with what she had done? How could she look at herself in the mirror, knowing that she helped a man cheat on the trust that his wife put in him? How could she ever feel good about herself again when she knew that she wrecked a household?

As her heart was being overwhelmed by guilt, another emotion touched her, claiming more than her heart, but her soul as well, and darkening in her thoughts. Hate. She hated herself for what she did to that poor married woman she knew nothing about. But this hate was nothing compared to the hate she was now feeling for Jace Wayland.

Why didn't he tell her that he was married? He had opportunities to warn her about what she was getting herself into, to tell her that he was a cheater and that he had a wife waiting for him back home. But he never did. Instead, he had sex with her, and he turned her into the person she never thought she would be. He cheated her into sex as much as he cheated on his wife. Had she known that the man was married, she never would have tried to have sex with him. This was against how she had been raised.

That's how she found comfort in the idea that it was all Jace Wayland's fault. Because he was the most guilty part in this mess. He was a cheater and a coward who didn't even have the balls to tell her that he was married. He was the one to blame, here, not her. She didn't know. She never would have knowingly had sex with a married man. This wasn't her. This was the person Jace Wayland turned her into, not who she really was. She was still a good person.

With that somehow comforting idea, Clary fell asleep, her mind drifting into a dreamless slumber.

She was woken up a few hours later by her brother. He was shaking her gently while calling out to her. She blinked a little, not ready to leave the comfort of her bed, but what she saw made her sit up next to her brother. Ben & Jerry's ice-cream. Clary raised an eyebrow at her brother, and he shrugged while handing the tube to her as he explained:

"You were crying in your sleep. I figured you'd appreciate the comfort."

Clary gratefully took the ice-cream, all the while registering in a corner of her mind that her sleep hadn't been as peaceful as she assumed. Jon watched her expectantly, Clary knew he hoped she would tell him why she was crying, but she couldn't look at him in the eyes. So instead she focused on the melting ice cream by hugging the tube against her warm belly.

The two siblings always had a rather open relationship toward one another, and had been very closed. Jon was the one who was there for Clary through everything. Of course she had friends with whom she could confide, but Jon was her brother, her best friend, and no one could take that from her. He was always the first one to know if anything happened in her life, and the first one to bring the ice-cream, like she was the first one to drag him into bars when he had breakups. Though this part was long overdue with the arrival of Izzy.

Ever since they were little. Clary and Jon would cover for each other when one of them would do something wrong. How many times had Jon come to Clary's school to make sure that she wouldn't be bullied because of her deceiving and frail figure? And how many times did Clary actually come to Jon's school to defend him in front of stubborn teachers who wouldn't believe in him?

When one was down, the other knew, and did their best to help. Exactly what Jon was doing at this moment, waiting for his sister to rely on him like she did so many times in the past; but she remained silent. She simply couldn't let him know what she did because she couldn't bear the overwhelming about on guilt he would feel for her, nor the disappointment she would see in his eyes.

Jon waited for a few minutes, and when he understood that his sister wouldn't talk, he sighed, getting up and nervously scratching the back of his nape.

"Wanna watch Chris Evans' shirtless?" Jon teased, knowing that Clary's love for the MCU was not only because of her love for the original comics, but as well as for the actors and their edible bodies. But unlike other times Jon would propose such things, Clary grimaced in annoyance. She loved Captain America, and she loved the way he was portrayed, feeling that the movies managed to make him loveable, all the while staying true to his old-fashioned self. However, today she didn't want to think about blondes, and thinking about Chris Evans as attractive made her feel worse, his blond portrayal of Captain America was a big turn down for her at the moment.

"How about Spirited Away? I feel like watching a Miyazaki," Clary proposed, getting up out of her bed; Jon didn't say anything.

They both walked to their living room, once there, Clary realised that the afternoon was almost through. It was four, meaning that her brother let her sleep for most of the day, not that she minded. Still, after sleeping so much, she did not feel rested, or even better.

Jon sat on the sofa while she put the movie on, mostly because she was the one obsessed with Miyazaki's work, and she never allowed him to touch her DVD collection. Once the movie began playing, Clary scooted further into the sofa, placing her legs beneath her, and angling her body so she could face the TV and her brother. While the movie started, she opened her ice cream, realising too late that she forgot to take a spoon.

"Jonny," She whined, and Jon grimaced without having to look at her.

"Oh, no. Get your lazy ass up and go get a spoon from the kitchen, it's less than ten feet away from you." Clary turned her head slightly to appear more innocent. "I left the house for you!" He uselessly pleaded.

Although Jon knew her very well he pretended to be shocked when Clary didn't move from the couch. She pouted, putting on her best puppy-dog eyes, while Jon did his best to ignore her and be over concentrated on the movie. But after barely a minute of struggle, he growled and got up, heading towards the kitchen.

Normally, Clary would cheer loudly to her victory, but today, her heart wasn't in it. She silently waited for her brother to come back, as he sat down next to her he held out the silver spoon. Clary dug into her cookie dough ice-cream while Jon sat back against the couch, extending his already long legs so he could rest his feet on the small mahogany table in front of them.

From the corner of her eyes, Clary looked at him, cursing once again her genes for giving him all the length, while she was stuck on being ridiculously petite. Though she had to admit, this was the only thing to be upset about. Her brother and her looked nothing alike. If people paid close attention to them, they could tell they were siblings. For instance, they had the same deep green eyes that could pull anyone into them. They also had the same thin and delicate fingers that helped with their years of piano lessons. They had the same fair skin, that would become freckled as soon as they stayed too long under the sun. Their hair had the same texture, and they had the same birth mark on the wrist of their right hand. But all those details only became obvious to people who paid attention, or who knew them well enough.

For others, they looked nothing alike. For starters, Jon was a giant with his 6ft5 (1m98) figure, and she looked like a midget next to him with her 5ft5 (1m67) stature. She didn't consider herself as small, but whenever her brother was around, she did feel like a Hobbit out of the Shire. There was also the fact that Jon was pale blond, when she was a deep scarlet red. Just another fact for people to mistake them for anything but siblings. The most important fact was that Jon was really closed off to people while Clary was a ray of sunshine. People usually had a hard time believing that they had been raised by the same parents, just because Jon was not as extroverted as his sister.

With a little shake of her head, Clary turned to focus on the animated movie, and on Chihiro's life. As she watched the young Japanese girl fighting her way to save her parents, Clary let her mind wander once again to Jace Wayland. She couldn't help but feel that he broke the strong person that she was.

Never before Jace did she feel ashamed or guilty for having sex. Never before Jace did she question her decisions of having random hookups. And mostly, she never felt like she was ugly on the inside. Because no matter how much she hated the fact that she had sex with a married man, her body kept on reminding her that she loved every second she had spent with him. She loved the way he had held her, the way he had touched her, the way he gave her not one, but _two_ orgasms.

She loved the way he was rough, but not brutal. She loved the promise that his fingers gave her in the morning before the awful realisation. Worst of all was that her body was longing for a rerun. Her body was chiding her for not giving it what he wanted in the morning, and leaving it frustrated, because she 'so-happened' to have morals. This was what was making her feel ugly inside. The fact that her body wouldn't go in accord with her mind.

"Do I need to break out someone's teeth?" Jon suddenly asked, Clary didn't even bothered to tear her eyes from the animation. She knew that despite her best efforts, she looked like a mess. Clary knew she looked worst than she had for any sort of breakup she had before, she'd seen her face in the mirror, after all. Jon loved her, the same way she loved him. It was probably painful for him to see her like this, and have her refuse to confide to him, like she always did. He probably felt like she was doubting the trust she had always placed in him.

"I'm a big girl, Jon. I can do that by myself," Clary assured him, all the while scolding herself for snapping at him. She shouldn't let one person, one mistake ruin her life. She couldn't let this awful choice dictate her life. She counted it as one of her biggest regrets, but she shouldn't be mopping all over the place. Not because of Jace Wayland and his cheating ass.

"Then why aren't you?" Jon insisted, turning his head to look at her directly. Clary did the same, the foreign movie completely forgotten by both siblings now.

Clary hesitated, not sure of herself. Why indeed? This wasn't like her. She was always the one who screamed out her opinion on anything to Jon, so why did she resort into crying alone instead of kicking that idiot's ass for making her feel bad, and cheating on his wife? Why did she run away from him? Why didn't she do her best to find out where he lived so she could rat him out to his wife?

She tried to find a rational answer to all her questions, but she couldn't find a single one. She didn't like being put in the 'bad guy' position. She couldn't tell that to her overprotective brother, so instead she gave him the most childish answer she could come up with: "Because … _Because_."

Jon hesitated, before asking with a reluctant voice, his green eyes avoiding hers. "Did something happen yesterday night that I need to be worried about?"

"What do you mean?" Clary knew Jon could tell she was lying but obliviousness seemed like the best option at the moment.

"Well, …" Jon started, obviously becoming uncomfortable with where this conversation was going. He scratched the nape of his neck again, before looking up right into the emerald eyes they shared as he explained his trail of thoughts: "I know you didn't come home last night, because I unexpectedly did. Not to mention you have those bruises on your wrists and I know what sex bruises look like, and I don't care about that, really. You know that I'll never judge you about how you deal with this aspect of your life. But if those bruises make you cry and make you so damn depressed, if it means something happened to you, that's what I deeply care about and can't let it go."

Clary pulled down the sleeves of her cardigan, even though Jon had already seen the bruises she thought that she could hide her wrists from his inquisitive eyes, loving and hating at the same time that he paid so much attention. She knew that if the roles had been reversed, she would have done the same. She would have paid attention to his sullen mood and she would have given him a little time before starting the same interrogation that he was doing. As of right now, she just wished that Jon were one of those oblivious brothers who wouldn't notice a thing.

"You want to talk about my sex life? I thought we weren't that kind of siblings," Clary eluded, because no matter how close they were, the sex topic had always been something they were rather awkward about. They knew the bare minimum about each other in that way, and it was already too much for them.

"No, but I'm your brother, and to me that means I get to beat the living daylights out of anyone who has hurt you," Jon declared, scrunching his nose a little at the mention of Clary's sex life.

Clary weakly smiled to him, putting down the now empty tub of ice-cream, and she rested her cold hand over his warm one to reassure him as she sneakily said: "It's okay, Jon. I'm just feeling more emotional because my period's on the way."

Jon recoiled, like he did every time Clary brought up this topic, and he looked back at the screen, while Clary conceded herself with a small smirk. Jon was not one of those men who could openly talk about girl problems, unlike their father.

She recalled how embarrassed she felt when she first had her period. Since her mother was away, her father was left with the heavy job of filling Clary in. Valentine handled it gracefully, and even tried to bring Jon into the conversation to prepare him, if he ever had a daughter on his own. Jon had just felt grossed out, and always did his best to avoid anything related to 'lady problems' when he could.

"Anyways, why didn't you sleep at Izzy's?" Clary's asked, curious to know why Jon hadn't slept at his fiance's, it had been more than six months since they'd slept apart.

Like a good percentage of the population, Jon and Izzy met at work. They were both working for an insurance company, and Jon completely fell under Izzy's spell after laying eyes on her. Clary couldn't really blame him for that, even she thought that Izzy had something worth falling for. It was beyond her beautiful body with all the right curves and long luscious raven locks; it was about the charisma and self confidence that emanated from Izzy. The two met two year ago, and had been engaged for eighteen months since Jon 'couldn't bare spending another minute of his life without knowing if she would share it with him'.

"Maureen showed up in the middle of the night. She was obviously needing a girlfriend to rant about men, which she wouldn't have been able to do if I stayed," Jon explained and Clary simply nodded as she understood that Jon gave his fiancé some quality time with her best friend.

Maureen and Raphael's relationship was the weirdest thing Clary had ever seen. It was worthy of a telenovela. They had a back and forth relationship, where no-one really knew if they were actually in together or not. They started as best friends, and tried this romantic relationship thing that everyone expected them to fall into, but this was their fifth ugly breakup over the past couple of years.

"Maureen really should end whatever relationship they have. It's not at all healthy," Clary said, and Jon nodded with a grunt of approval, not very willing to get more involved in a conversation that would ultimately be qualified as 'girl talk'.

After the movie finished Jon asked Clary if she would mind having dinner with him and Izzy. He even promised to buy her favorite kind of pizza. Clary found it odd that he asked, Jon knew that her and Izzy got along better than sisters. But she also knew the reason he asked, he wanted to make sure she didn't mind Isabelle seeing her in her 'delicate' state. Clary childishly stuck her tongue out at him and smiled genuinely.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

It took Clary two months to get back into her normal work routine. She did her best to forget about the night she spent with Jace Wayland. Which wasn't easy since she knew that they were now working for the same company. It wasn't that she had to bear his company, honestly she hadn't seen him since that dreadful night. It was more that people unconsciously reminded her of the mistake she made every time they mentioned him.

Hodge had confided to Clary that Jace Wayland almost refused to work with them using his family situation as an excuse. He was living in LA, and refused to impose the change of a city on his wife. Hodge had argued that with Jace, that he didn't have to actually stay in New York when he was not travelling for the company. Clary never commented on anything that they discussed, but she was rather glad and relieved that she wouldn't have to work with him on a daily basis.

With a loud heave, Clary focused on her computer, chiding herself once again for letting her mind wander off to that dangerous line that was Jace Wayland. She didn't tell anyone about what happened between them. Not her brother, not her parents, not even her best friend, Magnus. She kept her mistake a dirty secret. Feeling worse when her body began longing for Jace's touch. Her mind was perfectly aware of how wrong it was of her to want the touch of a married man, but her body couldn't care less. She even touched herself with the memory of them during the nights when she felt more lonely than usual.

This was how dark and twisted her mind became.

"Baby," A male voice trailed in her ear, tearing her away from her thoughts.

Clary heaved a little, though a small smile crept on her face as Sebastian Verlac wrapped his hands around her body and hid his nose in the crook of her neck.

"Seb…When will you get it in your head that you and I aren't happening?" She said with a weary voice, though she had to admit that she didn't mind that much.

If she was going to be honest with herself, she would gladly give into his advances. If it wouldn't have broken her golden rules. She already broken one of them, and the result was making her feeling miserable.

Seb was actually a nice guy, very attractive and rather persistent over the idea of flirting with her. His hair was even darker than Izzy's, making Clary think of the pitch dark of the night when she would see it. His eyes were also black, but there was something about them that Clary liked, a glimpse of silver that was ringing them when the sun was shining on them, or maybe it was just her imagination. Compared to Jon, Seb was a decent height, only a head taller than her so she wouldn't have to crane her head to look him in the eyes.

The problem with Sebastian was that he worked with her, and she had sworn to herself that she wouldn't get intimate with anyone who was work related. She already made the mistake to sleep with a future co-worker. One that was married nonetheless. Clary was not going to repeat that horrible situation. This was why she always refused his advances.

He seemed like a nice guy who knew how to make it interesting in the bedroom, but Clary didn't want to have another dent in her golden rules. He knew it very well since she told him many times that she would not sleep with someone she was working with. A part of her even wondered if Sebastian was so persistent because she kept resisting him and that it was turning her into a challenge.

"Come on, Clary. Stop making the poor guy suffer and give him some sugar," Mark teased, making Seb cheer while Clary rolled her eyes, shaking Seb's hands off of her.

Everyone at work knew of their little banter, and how she didn't want to give into Seb. Hell, even her brother who only dropped once by her work knew that! Clary even heard that there were bets on if she was going to succumb to the man's charms or not. It wasn't like Seb was being discreet about his flirting, anyway. It was one of the reason why Clary was more determined to refuse him. She didn't want her life to become the talk of her place of work.

Of course, Mark and many others of her male coworkers, were rooting for Seb. They always slipped a hint or two about them being a beautiful couple if she would just give in, instead of being her regular stubborn self.

As if it was nothing, Seb leaned against Clary's desk, and Clary did the exact thing she did every other time he did this, she ignored him. Instead of giving him the attention that he so desperately craved, she focused on the list of clients that she was supposed to see throughout the week, wishing it to be more interesting.

Just like her brother, Clary worked for an insurance company, but instead of insuring the 'common people for the everyday hazards of life', Clary's company, Idris, was insuring very wealthy people. Their money was the main concern of the company and to make sure that they would get even wealthier. Clary's job was to fish out potential customers, and get them to sign with her company, but she was starting to get bored with it. She would only have local missions that were binding her to New York, and Clary wanted to go international. She felt that it would be more interesting and challenging for her, if she had clients that were harder to persuade. Moreover, if she was promoted as an international agent, she wouldn't have to be sitting at a desk between two clients. In fact, if she got her way she would barely see the office again since she would be travelling.

"Don't worry, baby. The fact that we're going to be apart, won't stop me from pursuing you," Seb told her with a wink, taking her papers out of her hand to force her to pay attention.

Clary raised her eyebrows, surprised by his words, before she snapped back, with a teasing voice: "Apart? Did your landlord finally decide to get on my good graces and kick you out? Are you going back to Boston?"

"Ha ha. Very funny." He muttered, not sounding the least bit entertained. What I meant was that the boss called you down to his office," Seb clarified, playfully pushing her shoulder.

With a bright smile, Clary got to her feet. She leaned over and gently kissed Seb on the cheek, just to make him suffer a little. She then walked to her boss's office, her mind racing like a car. If she understood Sebastian's undertone correctly, Hodge had called her in to finally give her the promotion she had been dreaming of. To be honest, when Clary had applied to work for this company, she had asked to be an international junior, wanting to skip the boring stage of being a local junior. Hodge, however, had refused, claiming that she was too young and inexperienced, and relegating her to the job that she really didn't want to do. But still, Clary committed herself to the job, working more than asked for the past three years.

She had heard rumours that she was getting a promotion, but she didn't want to believe it until she heard it straight from Hodge himself. But now, it seemed that finally her hard work had paid off and she could sell her company's benefits on a larger scale and travel the world to do it.

Felling a little bit more happy that she had been over the past couple of months, Clary knocked on Hodge's door, envying the quiet that his office provided him. She always thought that maybe she wouldn't mind as much working locally if she didn't have to work in a cubicle at the view of everyone. Then again, maybe Seb would be even more persistent and find every excuse in the book to visit her in her office.

From inside his office, Hodge called Clary in. Once she was in the room, he indicated for her to sit in front of him. Many times, Clary came to Hodge's office, and she always liked the warm atmosphere that she got out of it. It almost felt like she was walking into his home, instead of her boss's office. His office was refined, white being the main color, not in a hospital way. His desk was simple and white, not piled with tons of paper as one would assume a boss's desk would be. There were two comfortable armchairs in front of his own. The shelves behind him were a dark grey, full of files and papers, though he had put pictures and drawings of his children and grandchildren every now and then to make the space feel more alive.

As soon as Clary was seated in front of him in one of the cyan armchairs, Hodge smirked at her as he inquired with a knowing voice: "I'm sure you already heard by now."

"I did. Does it mean I get paid more?" Clary retorted with a hint of playfulness in her voice.

With any other boss, Clary never would have dared make a joke, but she knew that Hodge didn't mind. She knew that he actually liked her straightforwardness when it came to talk among co-workers, which was why he always made her talk during meetings, so she could tell what she thought was wrong in the company.

"It mostly means I can kiss my Monday muffins goodbye," He teased back, and Clary placed her hand on her heart, pretending to be hurt by his words.

"This is hurtful. I'm going to think you only like me for my baking skills."

"Of course I do. Why would I like anyone because they're fun, smart and always manage to make me laugh?" Hodge retorted, making Clary suddenly blush and out of a witty retort.

There was a difference between knowing that your boss liked you, and having said boss compliment you out of nowhere for skills that had nothing to do with work.

"Why indeed," She murmured, settling her eyes on the apple behind Hodge's laptop, and letting an awkward silence settle between them. She waited for a minute to see if Hodge would say the words she had wanted to hear for the past three years, but when he didn't say anything, she trailed with a pretence innocence: "So…?"

Hodge reached for a drawer by his desk, he took out several papers, which he gingerly handed to Clary. She took them skeptically, reading each line with extra attention from her address to the dotted line for her signature, without forgetting the parts where it was mentioned that she was finally considered as an International Agent. She thoroughly studied this new contract, slightly annoyed that she was still considered as a junior though she brought bigger clients than some of the seniors that had been working for over a decade. She knew it was because of her age, but it still annoyed her to be bound to the rules of age and gender when she was doing a better job.

And then she saw her new salary.

She opened her eyes widely, before looking up at Hodge, wondering if there was some kind of joke behind it. She knew how much a female International Agent made, and she knew that the number displayed before her wasn't matching that salary.

"To answer your earlier question, yes, it means you get paid more," Hodge said with a benevolent smile while Clary blinked before looking back at her soon-to-be salary.

On more than one occasion, Clary complained about the unfairness of salaries based on genders. It soon became a joke between Hodge and her when she constantly asked if she would get paid more. She was outraged by the fact that she was paid less than Mark who only joined the company a year ago, and only did online sales; she was scandalized by the fact that Seb was paid more than a senior female local agents and she was horrified by the fact that the company was so resistant on giving young women promotions because of the word 'pregnancy'.

Seeing that she was going to be paid as much as a male International Agent made, Clary feel like she had this small victory. Though Hodge explained it to her.

"I may have lied a little on this one, threatening the board that you wouldn't hesitate on suing the company for sexism if they didn't give you the normal salary required."

"Well, thank you, Hodge. I wasn't expecting this … I don't know what to say …" Clary said, her eyes flying from her contract to Hodge. She wasn't expecting what he said next.

"I'll be honest, I'm completely biased when it comes to you. You remind me of my late sister. She was a woman who would burn her bras to stand up for women's rights, and I see her passion in you. I had to fight the board for months for them to give you this promotion, and like I said, I had to threaten them for you to have this salary … Don't screw it up!"

Clary blushed a little, before regaining her wit, feeling that this moment would become too overwhelming otherwise. "Damn! When I think I wanted to apply for a rival company and sell them all our biggest clients," She teased, snapping her fingers with a false disappointment. Hodge chuckled, understanding that the tender moment was gone.

Clary reviewed her contract, and pointed out a part to Hodge: "Senior referee? I get that it's you, that doesn't change from what I've been doing so far. But, a Senior IA. What? You think I can't get the job done by myself and I need a babysitter?"

"No. This is the company's new policy, and it has nothing to do with you or your promotion. The board has noticed that important potential clients are more inclined to listen to us when we send them two representatives, rather than one. I guess it makes the whole transaction appear more professional in their eyes. The board decided that now, all international transactions need to be by team. It will be announced Monday during the meeting."

Clary frowned, and didn't hesitate to give her mind on the matter: "So what? I'm going to have some old stick-in-the-mud glued on the back of my shoes?"

"Actually, since I'm so fond of you, and I want to see some cupcakes magically appear on my desk every other months, I asked for you to be teamed up with the best new asset that we have. Someone as promising as you, and who like you, just started out a new contract."

"So instead of a stick-in-the-mud, you're giving me a newbie?" Clary clarified. "Come on! How do you want me to do the best job if I have to drag around a child with me all the time. Can't you ask the board —"

"No. The board will not cut loose that team plan. They have been working on it for weeks, and they will stick with it. And I think they do not want to hear about you until you bring them a wonderful new deal."

Clary heaved, clearly displeased by this turn of event. It wasn't that she wanted to be acting like a bratty child, she was afraid that her partner would try to cheat her out of her deals, and get all the credits for them. The board would be more inclined to trust him, than her, a girl, one who caused them many problems in order to have equal wages.

"Don't worry. He's a newbie with his work at this firm, but he's been a Senior IA for a couple of years now," Hodge assured her, and something awful rose within Clary.

How many male IA's had been recently depraved to work for Idris? With a shake of her head, Clary denied the logic that her mind was making, and she asked with a shaky voice: "Who?"

"I'm not sure if you remember him. We briefly talked about him a few months ago, and you met him during an event a shorter period of time. Jace Wayland. The guy who lives in LA and used to work for the Clave," Hodge explain, and Clary felt all the blood in her face rush away, leaving her a pale and gaping mess.

Hodge wanted to team her up with Jace Wayland? Hodge thought that teaming her up with Jace Wayland was doing her a favor? Hodge went out of his way, to team her up with Jace Wayland! She couldn't believe it.

Clary never gave much thought about karma. For her it was a thing that was made up to prevent bad people from doing bad things. Since Clary's been a good person in the past, she never really considered what consequences could be leering around the corner. The idea had always been around. But still, never in her life, did she think that karma was catching up on her.

Today, Clary thought deep about karma during that sparse second when she realised what Hodge wanted from her. All she could think about was that karma was a bitch. Karma gave her two months of quietude, letting her believe that she was free of consequences, and when she least expected it, karma rang at her doorbell, with her most beautiful gown, to kick her in the stomach with spiked boots.

"Jace Wayland?" Clary finally managed to mutter, a part of her mind still on a delusional cloud and hoping the she heard wrong. But Hodge smiled as he nodded. She could read the clear enthusiasm on his face.

"You do remember him! Well, I hope he'll remember you as well, you know how I hate making formal introductions. I think you two should be quite a pair, but I'll wait for him to be here to go further on that road. He should be here any minute now." Hodge glanced down at his wristwatch, slightly vibrating with excitement for his new golden duo.

Clary suddenly had the crazy idea to turn down the promotion. After all, she hadn't signet it, yet. She could still pretend that she was more interested in becoming a local senior. Hodge would obviously be disappointed, but she wouldn't have to work with Jace-doesn't-know-the-sanctity-of-marriage-Wayland.

Because this seemed like the worst idea anyone had ever had since the idiot who thought of crocs. Especially since she got so comfortable with the idea of seeing him. Since she hated the man with a passion and her body wouldn't comply with her mind and still crave at time for the man's touch. What would happen if they worked together?

With an internal nod, Clary decided that she would turn down the promotion when the image of her father popped in her head. Her father who always taught her to fight for what she wanted, which she did, finally getting the job she wanted with the salary it deserved. He always told her to never let a man make her change the decisions she judged important in her life, whether it was a boyfriend, her brother, a friend, or even him, her own father. Now, she was failing him because she was about to turn down the job of her dreams because of a man.

Someone suddenly knocked on the door before opening it, and Clary turned in her chair as she decided that she was going to take this job, and not refuse a career opportunity because of Jace Wayland.

Hodge was already greeting Jace, when the blond man froze into space as soon as his tawny eyes fell upon Clary.

.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **㈏4Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed㈏4**

 **.**

 **~ So, I will be honest,** **I am very excited to read your reviews because this story will be such a rollercoaster of emotions.**

 **~ We have two new characters that will be very important to the** **story, and I am curious about your reactions** **toward Jonathan, and Seb (friend or foe?).**

 **Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9 Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


	3. Chapter 2 — Negotiations & Declarations

**My dear little broccolis ㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **~ So I want to say something first ‼️Thank you to everyone for supporting me and all. I just want to tell you guys, I am usually not a person who lets anyone or anything bring me down, or get to me. 99% of the time, everything one would tell, or say to me would go right through me and not affect me. Mostly because I know who I am, and that it took me too long to be proud of who I am to let anyone make me feel bad about myself like that or for what I stand for. Just like I said, it was only very upsetting to receive 12 emails of pure negativity all at once when I was already having a bad day. That review took me at my 01%, so it upset me. But honestly, that very same night, I was already over it. It wasn't even about what that person said, it was mostly because of the bad timing. So yeah. Know that I've been writing as long as I can remember. I'm not pretending to be Shakespeare, but I am aspiring to become a write. What that person said did not make me stop writing. I don't think anyone could ever make me stop writing, even if they try very hard. If I write on this website, it's because I love writing. I do not get paid or anything for this; and if I didn't love writing I wouldn't post anything on this website and I would only focus on my novels. So yeah, just a little break to myself; but still I love you all guys, and I cannot thank you enough for the support you gave me. You are all amazing broccolis.‼️**

 **~ Anyway, enjoy this chapter. Though I would like to remind everyone that this story will be dark and angsty. There is adultery in this story, so if you can't handle, don't read.**

 **~ Also, someone asked if I was listening to music while writing, so I'll try o put the music I listen to while writing chapters.**

 **~ Love, Mina ㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **.**

 **Chapter 2:** **Negociations and Declarations (5,9K)**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

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 **Maar Daala — Devdas**

 **Sexual Healing — Marvin Gaye**

 **Taikatalvi — Nightwish**

 **Blank Space — Taylor Swift**

 **Tu Vas Me Détruire — Notre-Dame**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Clary's PoV.**

 **.**

Hate. Clary had experience a lot this feeling in the last couple of months. She knew this feeling so well that she could tell every single stage that hate made you go through. She knew how strong and powerful it could make her feel. She knew how depressing it could make her feel as well. And still she never wondered how it must feel when hate was directed toward her. And now, now that she was the first target of someone else's hate, she did not like how diminished she was feeling.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

For a few endless seconds, the blond man remained frozen on his spot, shock written all over his face. His golden eyes looked at Clary from head to toe, as if she was an hallucination. Her memory hadn't failed her. He was exactly the way she remembered him, though at this right moment, he felt a little bit more imposing. His golden hair wasn't tousled, but properly structured in what Clary called 'the professional guy haircut'; and the few she could see of his golden skin was strongly contrasting with the darkness of his suit.

But before it might start to appear awkward or suspicious for him to stare at her like that, Wayland regained control of himself and slowly closed the door behind him before walking to the desk, his eyes now cast solely upon Hodge. Hodge who seemed completely oblivious of the little tension that the new up-comer just brought, eagerly smiled and introduced Clary with a benevolent wave of his hand:

"Haaa, Jace. Here you are, finally. This is Clarissa Morgestern, our most promising seller. And your new partner … that is, if she signs the contract."

Clary indulged Hodge a little polite smile while Jace Wayland courteously nodded his head in her direction, his jaw tightened with a forced smile. Swiftly, his tawny eyes lingered on her as if to recognise her presence as a future co-worker, not just someone he found in Hodge's office.

His eyes did not show a single emotion, but Clary could tell that he was not happy by this, but neither was she. Never she would have think in her worst nightmares that she would be one day forced to work with the man who cheated on his wife with her.

Especially since seeing him so close made her feel all sort of mixed emotions. She couldn't understand how she could still be attracted by this man when she felt nothing but hate toward him, and disgust concerning what they did. And still, seeing him standing next to her in his suit awoke in her the same desires that rose in her the first time she saw him. And even more since she knew what the body underneath those cloths looked like.

For a very brief second, her body took over her mind and reminded her what it felt like to be held by his strong arms, what it felt like to be kissed by this man, what it felt like to become undone under his touch. For a very brief second, lust took control over her whole body, transpiring in her eyes; and to her great horror, she saw that same lust gleam in the golden eyes of Jace Wayland as his gaze lingered a second more than courtesy required.

But then, Clary broke their connection losing her gaze into space and making Jace Wayland finally look back at Hodge. The blond man coughed a little to clear his throat before he said, his voice harsh and cold: "I was lead to believe by the board that I would be teamed with …" He swiftly glanced at Clary, looking at her from head to toe once again, and lingering on her lips a second more before he finished: " … someone _different_."

"What do you mean?" Hodge asked with confusion, his brows knot together as he was trying to understand the undertones of Jace's statement. Clary did not mean explanations, and she found herself glaring at the man, adding another check point to her list of reasons for her to hate him.

"He means that he was expecting someone with external reproducing organs. Not some skirt wearer," She clarified, ostensibly sitting more comfortably in her chair all the while sneering at Wayland with all her might. This was somewhere where she could fight and win without efforts; and secretly she was even relieved that Wayland turned out to be a plain asshole.

He was not only a cheater, he was also a misogynistic ass who thought of himself as someone better because he had a penis. Clary let herself maliciously grin, ready to tear the blond down to anything he could say to justify his ridiculous views of the world; but he did nothing of the sort. Instead, he stared at her as if she had just insulted him and his whole family; and Hodge intervened before he could say anything:

"Mister Wayland, you do know that we are living in a modern day and age, right?"

Clary repressed a smirk, her green eyes still on Wayland while she was inwardly cheering for Hodge for taking her defence and putting Wayland back at his place. It was more than just the tone their boss just used, it was also the way Hodge suddenly stopped using his first name, and referred to the blond man with his last name.

Jace Wayland shook his head to appease everyone, his jaw slightly tightened as if he was annoyed by the turn of the conversation; and with that simple gesture, Clary understood that he was simply expecting someone who wasn't _her_ to work with him.

"Of course, I know that. I was just not expecting Miss Morgenstern and it came out as a surprise. The fact that her reproductive organs are hidden has nothing to do with my surprise," He justified himself, glaring in his turn at Clary and daring her to retort anything.

"Good," Hodge declared, getting up from his chair and then he proposed: "I suggest that we talk about the details of your future missions around a nice meal."

Swiftly, Clary rose to her feet and picked the contract from Hodge's desk before he could even say where he was intending to eat. Once up, she waited for Hodge to give her the informations required (meaning that he would cab her there); and she politely took leave of the two men, claiming that she needed to fetch her stuff first.

As soon as she was back to her cubicle, Clary put her soon-to-be contract in a folder before putting that folder in her pale green shoulder-bag, all the while feeling Seb walking to lean against her desk. She refused to look up to meet his gaze, perfectly aware that he was only trying to pursue the topic that he broached before she went to see Hodge.

On any other day, she would have kept playing his game, all the while repeating him that there was no chance for a possible future he and her; but at this right moment, she was just fed up with men. She was feeling all sorts of emotions that she would like to let go off with a nice glass of wine, and some Chinese takeout; and she wasn't even able to do so because she had an impromptus business dinner to go to.

So, it's without even glancing at Seb, or sparing him a smile of some kind that Clary put on her black trench coat over her green dress, ready to go wait for Hodge down their building. But of course, Seb never gave up easy, and this time was just another way to prove it, among others.

"So? Now that we will no longer be working together, will we have some sort of epistolary relationship before you finally say yes to me?" He asked, a small smirk lingering on his pink lips as he made himself a little bit more comfortable on Clary's desk.

Clary blinked for a mere second, before she regained control of herself, and said with all the patience that she could muster: "Who said anything about me wanting any sort of relationship, with anyone? I like my life the way it is, Seb. And the way it is definitely doesn't include you in my personal life, and certainly not in such an intimate way."

Seb's face suddenly lost all trace of humour, darkening as the words came out of her mouth before leaving them both speechless for a long minute. Clary raised her eyebrows at him, waiting for some witty comeback from him, but he remained coldly silent, his raven eyes looking at her with a whole new light.

With a little satisfactory grin, Clary took her bag and placed it on her shoulder before walking to the elevator with her head high as her heels clicked on the parquet floor with rhythm and authority. She waited for the cabin to pick her up, and just as the elevator's doors were about to close, Seb snaked his way in, delaying the departure of a few seconds.

Clary heaved of annoyance, but it didn't seem to stop him from telling her whatever he came all the way to tell.

"Cards on the tables, Morgestern. I know you like your life the way it is. I know of your stupid rule about coworkers. But I also know that you want a relationship. I know you want the butterflies, and the sparkles. I know that you want the heart race and the lack of air. I know that you want the hearts and the flowers," He said very haughtily, daring her to deny everything that he just declared; which was exactly what she did:

"You don't know shit, Sebastian. You're just projecting your stupid feelings on me, hoping that we are in some cheesy work of fiction and that it will work on me. Well, guess what, even if we were, your feelings are not mines."

The elevator reached the first floor with the usual ding that Clary hated so much, and Seb did not do anything but smirk at her, his obsidian eyes looking at her as if she was missing a joke of some kind. She stepped out of the elevator, and he pressed the button back to the twelfth floor where they worked. And as the door started closing, he dramatically said: "I know you want a romantic relationship, because you told me so at the Christmas party."

This simple little phrase had the merit to shock her, and make her look at the elevator doors with her green eyes wide open, and her mouth a little open.

She honestly wasn't doubting his words, because if she was avoiding romantic relationships, it was more out of resignation than out of a choice of lifestyle. Sure she liked her intimate life the way it was, but she often missed the most mundane things about having a companion. The feeling of a comforting hand on her smaller back, or the sensation of knowing that someone who wasn't family was caring about you, or a simple smile with no agenda behind. She did missed all of that.

And she had been rather drunk at the Christmas party, which probably lead to her babbling nonsense to Seb. And now that she came to think of it, Seb did start to really pursue her after that said party. Did he think that her rant about the lack of romance in her life was a way for her to lead him on, and invite him in the intimate aspect of her life?

But before she could try to linger even more on this bomb that Seb just dropped on her; Hodge appeared by her side asking her if she was ready for them to head to the restaurant. Clary responded with her best smile, concealing her true thoughts to herself; and as they walked outside to hail a taxi, she politely asked about Wayland's whereabouts. Hodge lightly said that the man came by car and that he was going to meet them at the restaurant.

After they entered the yellow car, Clary dug her phone out of her bag, and sent a text to Jon to let him know not to wait for her for dinner. She was a hundred percent sure that this news would rejoice her brother more than anything. And there was a good percentage of chance the she would find Izzy sleeping home when she would get back home. Clary knew that, though he didn't really mind sleeping at Izzy's; Jon liked sleeping at their place better. Mostly because their apartment was much more studious than the little one-room flat that Izzy was renting at the tenth floor of an old building where the elevator worked whenever it pleased.

Before she could even start thinking of having a polite conversation with Hodge, Jon responded immediately making his excitement very obvious to his sister.

 **From Jon to Clary :** **Cool. Is this one of those time when you say 'I'm coming home late', but you're back in the morning, or one of those times when you say 'I'm coming home late', but you're back before desert?**

 **From Clary to Jon :** **It's one of those time when I'm saying 'I'm coming home late because I have a business meeting'. So to make it clear, every thing that you want to do to Izzy, but that I don't want to see, keep it in your bedroom!**

 **From Jon to Clary :** **Yeah. Whatever. Don't be home before nine! I'm warning you!**

At this text, Clary found herself very conflicted between the urge to laugh, and to scowl at her screen at the same time. It was at moment like that that she wished that Jon and Izzy would have already gotten their own place, or kicked her out so they wouldn't have that sort of awkward conversation, full of life-scarring images running through her head.

She once told Jon to not expect her on a Friday night; and of course, Jon took it as his cue that he had the flat to himself until late in the night. But what neither were expecting was for her to go home earlier than planned because of a disappointing hookup. And she came home to face her naked brother and his naked girlfriend going wild on the kitchen counter. It took her a month and a lot of cleaning to eat anything coming out of the kitchen, or even to face Izzy afterwards.

Hodge tore Clary out of her memory as he concernedly asked: "You are considering taking this promotion, right?"

"Of course, Hodge. Do I need to remind you that I came to this company, applying for this exact job?"

"No. But I feel like the team aspect of this is throwing you off."

Clary stayed silent for a second, looking for the right words to say before she explained: "It is true that when I applied, it was a solo job, and that having to team up with someone is something … unexpected. But I am keeping a very open mind, worry not Hodge."

"Good. I just want you to know that this new rule about sending teams instead of one person, has nothing to do with you," Hodge assured her, and Clary simply rolled her eyes with a small smile.

"I am not vain enough to think that the board would go to so much trouble just because I happen to state some unwanted truths."

Hodge humphed, but something in the way he was now looking at her made her doubt what she just stated. Could have the board actually try to undermine her to prove that she wasn't good enough at her job? And this new realisation made her suddenly rethink this whole promotion. What if the board was looking for a good reason to fire her, since she wouldn't quit, and that she was being one of those annoying employee? Maybe she should try to behave her temper and her thoughts for a little while, before the board would fire her for wearing dresses two days in a row, or something stupid like that.

After barely twenty minutes in the cab, they arrived at the restaurant where Jace Wayland was already waiting for them at a round table. Clary followed Hodge to the end of the restaurant and sat between the two men, opening the menu straight away to look for what kind of liquor she was going to have as an appetiser.

She could feel Wayland's intense gaze on her, but Clary refused to give any thoughts into how much his presence could affect, or confuse her. She was here on business, to discuss about how her career would change for now-on, and even possibly bloom … that was if the board was not trying to subtly sack her.

As Hodge made small conversation with Jace Wayland about the traffic, Clary looked over the menu, setting her mind on a Death In The Afternoon. She needed something strong to calm her nerves. Or maybe she was too keen to drown her problems in alcohol. Her father would probably chastise her since he, himself, never drunk a single drop of alcohol; but at the moment, all Clary could think of was the welcoming and burning bite of alcohol down her throat.

A waitress came to take their order, a bright smile on her face as she turned to Clary to hear from her first. After a last look at the menu, Clary ordered her drink, and Spicy Thai Noodles, extra spicy just like she liked her food. Hodge ordered for himself a Manhattan with Peanut Noodles and Chicken; as for Jace Wayland, he simply took a Virgin Mary with Tofu Fried Rice, claiming that he had to drive back to his hotel, and that he would rather not drink because of that.

Still, Clary couldn't help but feel like there was a dark irony in his choice of drink. Out of all the non-alcoholic drinks, Jace Wayland had to go for a ' _virgin_ ' one, instead of a simple drink.

The drinks did not take long to arrive, and Clary took a long sip out of her drink, loving the sweetness brought by the melted sugar, and the fizzy sensation of the bubbles of champagne in her mouth. For a minute second, she closed her eyes and just appreciated the bittersweetness of her drink; though she had to admit she had better. This one was a tat too sweet for her, making her assume that the bartender probably used sugar syrup instead of melted sugar as the original recipe required.

"So, I did not even ask you, Jace; do you remember meeting Clary? It was the wake of you joining this company," Hodge asked with a friendly tone, probably wanting to break the thin and subtle ice between the two of his employees.

Jace slightly turned his head to Clary, as if to take her in and search in his memory if he remembered her. And Clary could see in his eyes that the memories coming back to him were anything but the innocent little moment the three of them had in front of an elevator. Suddenly, she felt like her green dress wasn't covering her enough as his tawny eyes racked over her body, gleaming with lust. She felt like he could see her breast, even though she was wearing a high round neck. She felt like he was touching her, feeling her temperature rise beneath his fingers, even though he had not moved from his seat. She felt like for a second, they were back in his hotel room where he made her scream his name.

But then, Jace Wayland reported his attention to Hodge, asserting with a very detached voice: "I am not sure. The memories of that night are rather … They feel much like a dream. I was very tired, and a tits drunk."

"Yes, I do recall that you were jet-lagged," Hodge confessed, before he added: "Though, I think that you had an affect on Clary here since she does remember briefly seeing you."

Wayland looked back at Clary, his blond eyebrow arched up. But before Hodge could unknowingly put them in an even more awkward situation, his phone rang in his pocket tearing him away from the conversation he was trying to make.

"If you'll excuse me," He said, getting up and picking up his phone, leaving both Clary and Wayland alone.

For a brief second, Clary contemplated the idea of pretending the need of the restroom, just to avoid having to stay here alone with Jace Wayland; but then, he said something that made her think twice about it:

"Since you still haven't signed your contract, I think it would be best for the two of us for you to decline this promotion."

Clary stared at the man sitting beside her, her eyes big and her ears unbelieving of what he just said. And her astonishment got even bigger when he added: "If you want, I have contacts in other great companies that would hire you for that exact same job, with a rather good salary."

Still under shock, Clary blinked before regaining her wit and snapping back at him: "And why would _I_ do that? I have nothing to reproach myself."

Jace Wayland finally turned his head to look at her, his golden eyes finally looking directly in her green eyes instead of avoiding them like they did ever since he entered Hodge's office. His golden orbs flared with something she was so familiar with.

 _Hate_. That little emotion that Clary archived over the past couple of months. She was well acquainted with it, she could tell every stage it made her go through. The strong, almost drug like effect it had on her, how it could shut her down until she didn't want to get out of bed in the morning. Still, she'd never been on the receiving end of someone's hatred. Never felt their eyes burn a hole in her soul and feel the waves of malcontent forcefully make her mind stagger.

And at this exact moment, she felt all of Jace's hatred toward her strike her down. His eyes were burning on her, making her feel uneasy, and making her lose all her self-confidence. She suddenly felt like she was back in that elevator the morning after that fateful night, when she cried hugging herself for minutes and felt like she was the most worthless person of the world.

Clary looked away from the intensity of his gaze, swallowing hard her pride; especially when he asked with a sardonic sarcasm: "Because you don't qualify sleeping with your married coworker as such?"

He could have slapped, it would have been the same. The coldness of his tone made her feel all over again of the shame that she had tried to tame over the past couple of months, but it was nothing compared to the way his gaze was blazing over her.

Clary who had always believed herself to be head strong, and to not be one to recoil in front of anyone, felt suddenly small and out of words. He was right, she did sleep with a married man. She did roll in the sheets and loved every second of it with a man that wasn't hers to look at.

He waited for her to say something, but when she remained silent, he tore his gaze away from her, staring into space as he placed his hands under his chin. For a few seconds, the two of them stayed silent, probably both trying to get their emotions under control; but then, Wayland said with a voice rather detached, as if he was talking to himself:

"You have no idea how much hate I have for you. I think it's even more than hate, I think t's actually pure loathing. Never before you have I looked at another woman since I've laid eyes on my wife. Never before you have I been even aroused by another woman but my wife. Never before you had I even _thought_ that I would be capable of adultery. And yet … here we are. You standing next to me while I can't stop thinking of what happened that night. Of what happened when you lured me to the path of adultery. Of what happened when you made me break my vows to her."

And finally, Clary regained her wit and herself, finally snapping out of this state he subdued her to as she rightfully snapped at him with temper: "I was not alone might I remind you! You wanted this! You wanted me! And you _never said that you were married_!"

"So you _really_ did not know, after all," Wayland said caressing his lower lip with his thumb, his gaze still lost into space as his tone was now detached again. Clary frowned, wondering what he meant by that. She thought that it was pretty obvious by her reaction in the morning that she had no idea that he was married.

"It's not like I was wearing a ring, is it?" He added with that same cold sarcasm that he used before, and Clary had to concede him that.

He did wear a ring, she just didn't see nor feel it. And now that she was thinking of it, he did try twice to back away. He even said that he _wasn't supposed to be there with her_. So, if she was following his logic, she was the awful snake who seduced a married man just for the game.

Jace took a dip breath in, and kept on talking to space, as if Clary was barely there: "You know, what's worst in all of this? Worst than me cheating on my wife? Worst than having touched you when I haven't touched my wife in months- even before I met you?

The worst part is that I can't bring myself to _actually_ hate you. I hate myself more. I hate myself because I betrayed my wife. Because I enjoyed every second of it. Because ever since I saw you in the middle of the crowd, I have wanted you. Because I cannot get you out of my mind. I think of you in the middle of the night. I think of your body beneath mine. And … I keep on repeating over and over again the face of disgust you had in the morning. The repulsion emanating from your whole body when you looked at me …"

Clary felt like all the air had left her lungs at this declaration. He wasn't supposed to tell her that. She would have been happier with him hating her. She didn't want him to think of her with such conflicted emotions. Because it only felt like he was reflecting her own. And she didn't know what to do about any of that. She didn't know how she was supposed to react, what she should say, what she should _feel_.

But Hodge spared her from thinking any more about all those confessions as he made his way back to them, followed by the waitress holding their plates; and Jace took his drink in his hand as he uttered in a disbelieving murmur: "Crazy, isn't it?"

She did not reply anything, due to Hodge's presence, and smiled gently to the waitress when she deposited her plate in front of her. Her eyes swiftly went on Jace Wayland before settling once again on her plate. Suddenly her spicy noodles didn't seem that appealing. With a deep breath, she finished her drink in one gulp, not caring how unladylike it made her seem. She knew it was because of that bomb that Jace Wayland just dropped on her, but she was determined to not think of any of his words as long as she was in this business dinner.

Which Hodge reminded them off by taking a fork full of food, and explaining: "So let's start talking about what you will do.

Your missions will not differ much from what you already do. Except from you Clary. You will be international, instead of being local. The only big difference will be that you will be working together. You are a team. Fail and success will be yours as a team, and not individuals.

Know that this idea of having teams is something very new, so not everything will be perfect, but the idea behind this is soothing the potential client in our favour by sending two people instead of one. It might seem more aggressive, and in a way it is, but see it more as 'good cop/bad cop' situation."

As he kept explaining how this team work was a wonderful idea, and both Clary and Jace would benefit of this new turn from their company, the three of them slowly finished their meals. Clary paid extra attention to everything that Hodge was saying, but mostly to what he was not saying.

If she was understanding everything correctly, communication and a good relationship was going to be what would make their team a solid one, or not. And so far, Wayland and her started on the wrong foot. Sleeping with one's married co-worker would definitely not qualify as such.

"Clary, do I still have you on board. Jace already signed a week ago with the board, and I have a mission that could be yours by tomorrow night, if you sign now," Hodge suddenly said, tearing Clary out of her thoughts.

She slightly frowned, wondering why Hodge was so pushy about getting her to sign; but then she gracefully got up, and politely said with a fake smile:

"Give me just a few minutes to powder my nose."

She had finished her food anyway, and she was not planning on ordering a desert. Once she was in the restroom, she called Jon, and nervously waited for him to pick up; which he did after the first ring:

"Yes, you can come home," He said with exasperation, making Clary wonder if she just blocked him, or if he was just exasperated by the situation of her calling beforehand to check if she could come home.

"I got a promotion," She told him with a small voice, sitting on a toilet and taking her head in her hand to clutch her hair. Jon cheered on the other side of the phone, making her slightly smile at her brother's excitement for her.

"No! That's awesome! Why aren't you home so we can celebrate?"

"I don't know if I'll take it, Jon," She explained, her voice even smaller. She couldn't believe that she was ready to go back on everything she ever said, just because of one man. This was her dream job that she was considering turning down. How could she have had so many different emotions concerning this promotion in the course of one evening? She didn't know what to do or to think anymore.

"Why? Are they not paying you enough? Or are they not promoting you were you wanted to go?" Jon inquired with curiosity, and Clary bit her lip.

How could she tell Jon, without telling him everything that had happened? She already had some problems admitting it to herself, so let along Jon. She didn't want her brother to look down at her, and especially not with disappointment. And so she eluded:

"No, it's exactly what I wanted, with the right pay and al … But … I … Me taking that promotion may actually have an impact on my personal life."

"Why? Do you have to sleep with Sebastian for you to get that promotion?" He teased, and Clary rolled her eyes. This was how much Sebastian was persistent toward her, he even became a recurrent joke for her brother to tease her with, even though he had only seen him once.

"Because I'm stupid sometimes, and I want to be sure that me taking that promotion is me talking the right decision."

There was a small silence between the two siblings during which Clary could tell that Jon was trying to read between the lines of her half words. He knew something was off with what she was telling him, but he apparently did not feel like pushing her into admitting it. And so, he encouraged her:

"I think you should take the promotion. You wanted the job since _forever,_ Clary. You applied in this company _especially_ to get this job. I know you, you will be able to overlook whatever is making you doubt at the moment, and be a boss at your job. Then, you'll brag about it for at least a month, like you always do."

Those words made Clary smile to herself as she knew that her brother was trying to lift her spirits up … which he did. and so, she got up, straightened up her dress in front of the mirror after laving the toilet booth, and she told her brother:

"Yeah … Can you come and pick me up? I'm at the Padogue Dorée."

"Sure. I'll be here in twenty minutes. "

When her brother hung up, Clary looked at her reflection with determination before she left the restroom and went back to the table where Jace and Hodge were talking. She sat back, under the men's steady gaze, and dug the contract out of her bag. She signed it and gave it back to Hodge, with a small smile as she teased: "I'll soon be asking for a raise again. Just so you now."

.

.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **㈏4Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed㈏4**

 **.**

 **~ So, I will be honest, I am very excited to read your reviews because this story will be such a rollercoaster of emotions.**

 **~ We finally have Jace's thoughts. Or sort of. W** **hat did you think of that? And what was your favourite part?**

 **~Also, there is a Pinterest board of this story, so go check it out**

 **Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9 Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


	4. Chapter 3 — That Little Thing Called

**My dear little broccolis** ㈏4㈏4㈏4

 **~ I know, I disappeared out of nowhere, without even giving a warning, once again, again! I should really stop doing that. I am very sorry, but I was using the excuse of NaNoWriMo to finally get started on my second book, and I did. And now, I promise, I won't flank on you like that. I am going to focus on this story, Mistakes, The Consequences Of A One Night-Stand, Not Another Teen Story, Behind The Curtains and In The Welfare Of War. So that means, lots of updates for you. I am already working on the other ones I will make tonight, but not all at once. Please have mercy.**

 **~ I might as well start another story, but I'm not sure, so if someone is interested in co-writing it with me, let me know. My PM is always open, as well as my social medias, or my gmail address (minalislyy).**

 **~ Also, I created a playlist on Spotify with the music that help me write the stories I update. I will refresh the playlist every week. It is called "** Fanfics for my little Broccolis. Mina Lisly **"**

 **~ Anyway, I hope that you will like this chapter. I really hope that you will like it, because it took me forever t write, and lot of bad things happening on the way for me to update (including 5K disappearing in the wild that I had to rewrite completely).**

 **~ Also I would like to take the time to THANK VERY DEEPLY FrenchBenzo who gave me all the strength to keep on working on this story when I was in a block, and who listened to me rant for more than six months about this story. Thank yu so much, this update wouldn't be here now without you.**

 **~ Anyway, enough chitchat, I will let you read this long overdue update, and will impatiently wait to read your thoughts on it.**

 **Love, Mina** ㈏4㈏4㈏4

 **.**

 **Chapter 3: That Little Thing Called Confidence (7,4K)**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **.**

 **Stone Cold — Demi Lovato**

 **Frozen — Madona**

 **Phenomenal — Eminem**

 **30 Minutes — T.a-t.U**

 **All Of Me — John Legend**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Clary's PoV.**

 **.**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

Confidence. That little something that can boost someone into believing in themeselves. That little something that can make someone do the impossible. It was probably one of the first thing Valentine taught Clary when she was young. That as long as she had self confidence, as long as she believed in herself, she would be able to achieve her goals. And so, all her life, Clary judged herself as a person who didn't lack confidence.

But at this moment, as the words that uttered Jace Wayland were taking a full impact of her, she found herself suddenly doubting herself. And worst, she could feel her self confidence shy away and try to flee face to the confidence Jace Wayland was showing her.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

Clary looked one last time at the cloths hanging in her dressing before settling for a simple plain black dress that she would compliment with accessories that were all in the various shades of brown. For several minutes, she had considered wearing one of her favourite skirt, a red asymmetric plaided skirt, stoping at the knee; but since she was going to be travelling alongside Jace Wayland, she had decided against wearing the colour of lust.

After she had signed the contract the night before, Clary went back home with her brother with whom she celebrated her promotion to the fullest, not letting any bitterness stain this moment for her. Izzy, Jon and her cheered to the advantages she would get and to her dream job finally becoming a reality; and during the whole time, Clary refused to think of the down side of what getting this promotion meant to her.

Actually, Clary had not thought of Jace Wayland until Hodge called her before the birds even started singing in the morning to tell her that she and her new colleague already had a mission in Texas and that they were expected to leave later that very same day. This is when Clary started fully realising what it would mean to work with a married man she slept with, and wanted to have sex with again. There was no point any more in lying to herself over and over, she craved for his touch. She had missed the way he had touched her during their night of folly. She had missed the way he made her feel. And now that she was calmly thinking about it, she wished that she had put some clauses in her contracts. Like, for example, the possibility to book her own planes and hotels, just to be sure that she wouldn't be stuck next seat or room with Jace Wayland.

All morning long, Clary had Jace Wayland in her mind while she did her suitcase; and now that she was getting dressed to travel, she had him in mind again. And it bothered her. She never really thought on how her outfits could impact others when she dressed, only caring if she felt good about herself in what she was wearing at the moment. But now, she was feeling like she was thinking like a bigot.

With a heave, she shook her head to focus and hushed herself when she saw that she only had an hour left before a cab would come pick her up. Swiftly, she put on her dress, throwing a brown belt and a long cardigan over it. She pondered for half a second the idea of doing a proper haircut; but after another quick glance at the clock, she decided against it and threw her straightener and curler in her suitcase. Then, she looked at her reflection, shooing her brush away as she managed to do a decent ponytail, in spite of her wild hair.

She was about to apply makeup on her face, when her phone blasted _Kris Kross's Jump_ startling her just enough for her to put her phone on speaker all the while opening her mascara bottle. She barely had the time to let the caller know that they were online that her mother exclaimed:

"I am so happy for you, honey."

Clary rolled her eyes, retaining a grunt as she inwardly cursed her brother and his big mouth. As much as Clary had always been the one in their family to best keep a secret, Jon had always had a big mouth, wether he wanted it or not. How many surprises did he orchestrated and ruined, because he would unconsciously blurt everything before time.

"I was going to call you tonight from the hotel. I mean, you barely woke up, didn't you?" Clary assured, wondering how did Jon manage to find the time to call their Mom between his job, and the time zone. Their parents never moved from the city where they grew up and fell in love, Seattle; and therefore were three hours late to their New York time.

"From the hotel? Do you already have a mission? Oh, honey, I hope they didn't pressure you into signing anything you didn't want to commit to," Jocelyn worriedly asked, making Clary roll her eyes again, and miss the wing of her eyeliner. She groaned, before wiping the mess away and reassuring her mother:

"Don't worry, Mom. Didn't Jon tell you that I got everything I wanted? Good pay, good hours, and I get to travel to actually do my job. I hadn't been cheated into the job, rest assured of that."

"Okay. But if you're already traveling, be sure to have a little pharmacopeia with you. You know, the basics."

"Mom! I'm going to Texas! Not to a country with no drugstore," Clary exclaimed, missing once again her cat eye.

"You never know. What if you get a headache in the middle of the night? Do you want me to make it for you and send it to your hotel? I don't mind."

At this point, Clary had rolled her eyes so many times and missed her cat eyes so many times that she had given up on the idea of doing anything more than mascara to her eyes. She was just going to look even more natural than usual today.

"Moooom ... I'm twenty five. I'm a big girl, contrarily to popular belief. And therefore I do not need you to send me last minute things on my trips. I'm sure that if I happen to have a headache, the hotel will be able to supply me with the necessary drugs. And promise, if not, I'll call you first thing to tell you how right you were," Clary promised, all the while looking at the palette of different lip colours she had, before she decided to go for a nude.

"I do not want you to have a headache, honey. It's just that we're better safe than sorry. Anyway, are you really happy about this promotion?" Jocelyn inquired, making Clary feel like her mother _had_ to pick the day when she would be the most worried to call her.

"Of course I am. It's what I came to New York for. It's what I studied for. I would be a very weird person if I weren't happy about getting my dream job."

"Good. It's what matters most," Her mother happily agreed on while Clary applied her lipstick. "Is everything alright with Jon and Izzy?"

At this, Clary stopped everything, frowning at the phone as she fished out for information: "What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Jon seemed distant at the phone when I asked about Izzy."

"Did he? It's probably because he was at work, Mom. He probably didn't want to talk too much about her in front of their coworkers. You know how Jon likes to keep his love life, private," Clary reassured her mother, though a part of her brain was actually finding it weird that Jon would be shy about talking about Izzy. It was a secret to n one that Jon _loved_ gushing about his fiancé, especially to their mother who never lost an occasion to gleam with bliss at the perspective of seeing her eldest child married.

"Okay. Well, honey, call me as soon as you land, oaky? I have to go to work."

"I'll text you, Mom," Clary promised, rolling her eyes once again at the useless worry her mother was displaying.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

An hour later, she was in a cab, heading to the airport while she was thinking of what her promotion meant for her on a regular basis. Now that she was clearly thinking about it, it was starting to be obvious for her that she needed to find herself a new place. With the crazy work hours that were bound to happen soon enough, she would barely be home, and she didn't want to impose to her brother her crazy schedule.

She thought that she ought to have a conversation with Jon as soon as she would come back, in which she would propose him to let Izzy come live with him while she would find a small flat somewhere not too far from the airport since she was bound to travel a lot from now on. If she were honest with herself, the perspective of having to soon live on her own had been haunting her ever since Jon had proposed to Izzy.

But she was not going to endlessly live with her brother, especially when this one was planning on making a life and a family with the love of his life. So she knew she had to find a place on her own, where she would probably avoid going as much as possible.

As she was trying to figure out how she was going to manage planning a move all the while juggling with her new responsibilities at her job, the cabdriver pulled in front of the airport and let Clary know that she had reached destination.

With a certain knot in her stomach, she got out of the taxi, and walked to the boarding desk, her ticket in hands, all the while pulling her suit case behind her. Contrarily to her usual flights, the check-in did not take more than fifteen minutes (queue included); and so she happily crossed the customs to wander in the duty-free boutiques on the other side.

She was sniffing different sort of famous perfumes, when she heard someone behind her tell her: "I didn't pick you for a perfume kind of girl."

Without having to turn to see who was talking to her, Clary knew who it was. Slowly, she turned to face the man who gave her so many conflicting thoughts, doing her best to keep her face unreadable; and once they were face to face, she noticed that he was holding himself a bottle of perfume, except that it was a male one.

"I do like to smell nice," Clary pointed out, doing her best to keep her tone professional, and not unfriendly.

Jace Wayland had a small smile on the corner of his lips that was neither self sufficient, neither arrogant; and he reached for a particular bottle that he gave to Clary, explaining himself: "What I meant is that I pecked you for being more of an Eau de Parfum, kind of girl. Something more subtle than just the blunt and raw perfume."

Without being really sure of what she should do or say, Clary shrugged, putting back at its place the bottle of perfume that she had in hands. For a second, she considered making a small scene - the one that she had rehearsed over and over in her head ever since she signed the contract, a scene would have been worth any good rom-com; but then she decided against it. She could be professional. She could bite her bone, and pretend that she did not sleep with that married man. She could treat him like any other coworker that she would have just met. She was strong enough to do so.

And it was with that resolution in mind that she looked back on her new coworker, with her best commercial smile as she said: "To be honest, I'm not much of a fragrance kind of girl. But I'm a girl, and when theres a shop with duty-free, I have no other choice than to buy something."

Jace Wayland chuckled a little, his eyes quickly glancing at her ponytailed hair before focussing again on her face. He seemed about to say something, but apparently thought better of it and let out a polite heave as he put back the product he had in his hands on a shelf and said: "I think I better use the few minutes we have left before boarding to go out for a smoke."

Clary did not say anything, her eyes watching Jace Wayland walk away from her while the quiet and reasonable part of her was already judging him for being one of those nicotine addict who paid big lobbies in order to increase their chances to have an ugly cancer. The loud and unreasonable side of her was checking Jace out from behind, thinking dirty things about what his booty would look like without his trousers on. For a brief moment, Clary's gaze was lost in space, her mind and body drooling over the reminiscence of Jace's touch; but then, she shook her head, chastising herself and left the show without buying anything after all.

She didn't have to wait or queue to board the plane, as she was in business class, and went straight to her seat, only to see that she had the corridor one. She quickly debated about what was correct to do or not, but then sat on the window seat, deciding that Jace shouldn't have been smocking if he wanted so badly to be next to the scuttle. Then, once that she was comfortable in her seat, she took her laptop out of her bag and checked her mail for better thing to do. She wanted to revisit the folder of the client they were about to go see; but she figured it would be best if she waited for Jace to do so.

As she was skimming through her mails, deleting one by one all of the junk she didn't want but was too lazy to unsubscribe to, she surprisingly saw that she had an email from her father, as well as one from Sebastian. With curiosity, she first opened the one coming from her father

 ** _To: Clarissa Morgenstern_**

 ** _From: Valentine Morgenstern_**

 ** _Date: 23 February 2014 12:37_**

 ** _Subject: Your brother has a big mouth_**

 ** _I am sorry to tell you that your brother already spoiled you all the fun you might have had to tell me about your promotion. What I propose to you is that the next time you get promoted, you keep it to yourself, and only tell Jon last. Even after the mailman. Hahah._**

 ** _But joke aside, I am very happy for you, and according to what Jon has been telling me, very proud of you. See? It pays off to be an annoying pain in the ass when it comes to claim what is rightfully yours. Literally. Haha. Though I hope that you won't let yourself get pulled into work, like you always do when your passionate about something. Don't become a workaholic, and a stranger to us, your mother wouldn't support it._**

 ** _Talking about your mother, I am sure that she already found time to call you, as much as I am sure that Jon called her first. The two of us are going to come to New York in a couple of weeks, but I'm not sure which hotel to check us in. I would have asked Jon for advise, but you know your brother, he would probably blabber around, and half the cosmos would know that we would be coming to New York, when I just want your mother and I to have a weekend for ourselves before she starts obsessing about Jon's wedding._**

 ** _Izzy's parents called us last night, and we are probably going to gp to Boston in a month or so, so we can settle everything neatly. It's been decided that Jon and Izzy would celebrate their marriage in Boston (Izzy finally dropped her crazy idea of Hawaii, you know how I like the heat). Your mother is very excited about that all ordeal, and I think that she soon will try to know if she will be soon planning your own wedding. I tried to let her know not to push you, but you know your mother, she will never judge but always be too happy to organise your wedding._**

 ** _Anyway, say hi to Jon from me, after killing him, of course; and don't forget to recap me your first impressions doing your dream job._**

 ** _Love, Dad_**

As she read once more the mail that her father had sent her, Clary couldn't help but smile. No matter how much she liked her parents, her bond was a little bit stronger and mischievous with her father than with her Mom. And this was why she did not hesitate on answering him right away, her smile still lingering on her lips.

 ** _To: Valentine Morgenstern_**

 ** _From: Clarissa Morgenstern_**

 ** _Date: 23 February 2014 15:21_**

 ** _Subject: Jon does indeed have a big fat mouth_**

 ** _Really, I don't understand how Jon manages to keep anything to himself. I hope he will at least let Izzy have the joy of announcing that she's pregnant when the time will come. And of course, since he told Mom when the birds weren't even singing yet, I had to get ready for my first mission with her on speaker. She actually seems a little nostalgic of us, I don't know, something in the sound of her voice sounded off; so I think it's a great idea for you to fly over to New York. She will get to see us, gush with Izzy about the wedding, and change scenery a little._**

 ** _But don't think I am stupid, and I didn't notice that your coming to New York coincides perfectly with the date of a certain anniversary of a certain couple I know. I am sure that Mom is going to love it. Especially if you take her to the River Café. It's one of the most romantic restaurant in town, though quiet expensive since it's very touristic._**

 ** _I hope I will get to see you when you will come. I don't have yet my schedule for the upcoming month, I am supposed to get it when I come back from this mission._**

 ** _I will be honest with you, I am a little bit anxious about starting this job. I am not sure that I can do this, no matter how much I tell myself that I deserve this place in the company, there is still that little voice of doubt in my mind that says that I should play the safe card, and stay where I know I excel. Don't worry, I know I will be able to quiet that stupid voice, but … I just had to say it to someone._**

 ** _Anyway, my plane is about to take off, and I am going to pretend to be fancy and put those sleeping mask on to see if it really works after all._**

 ** _XOXO, Clary_**

With that satisfaction, Clary listened to the little whooshing sound that indicated that her email had been sent. Then, she looked up a little, watching people boarding with tired faces, or on the contrary excited faces of mostly young children; but she didn't linger much on this much and used the remaining time she had of using an electronically devise before the take off to read with curiosity what Sebastian could have written her.

 ** _From: Sebastian Velrac_**

 ** _Date: 23 February 2014 13:30_**

 ** _Subject: Congratulation_**

 ** _Well, now that it has been officially announced, I can send you this official message to congratulate you on your promotion. Though, let's be honest, it was a surprise to no one back at the office. That promotion has been yours for quite some time, it was just a question of knowing when. And I'm sure you'll rock at it, as usual._**

 ** _Anyway, now that you're some big shot Agent that is no longer working with me on a daily basis, I think I can officially ask you for a drink when you'll come back. Nothing really implicating anything that could be qualified as a date, or even a 'good time' as you put it. Just a drink between two people who are looking forward to become friends at some extent._**

 ** _Until I hear from you,_**

 ** _Cheers,_** ** _Seb_**

As she read Sebastian's email over and over, Clary surprised herself with hesitating on actually giving in. She was no fool. She perfectly knew that if she went out with him for drinks, in the hope to 'form a friendship', their relationship would ultimately blossom into something more than that. After all, she wasn't completely immune to Sebastian's charms. He was actually someone that could be quiet charming when he wanted to, and for the past few months, he proved that he wanted to be charming to her quite a lot. If she had met him a few years ago, Clary would have actually fallen into his arms, and would have gladly let herself fall into that relationship Sebastian was so adamantly selling her.

But the fact was, she was another person, now. She no longer was the girl who easily fell in love with the first charming guy with a nice smile and eyes out of this world. She was more of a practical girl, who just saw love and relationships as things that weren't for her. She didn't believe that it didn't exist, her parents and her brother were the perfect proof of love; she just thought that some people weren't made for love. And Jace Wayland was just a proof among other. After all, if he had been a person made for love, he wouldn't have cheated on his wife, no matter what, no matter how much she seduced him back in the room, no matter whatever was happening back home for him. If he had been in love with his wife, he wouldn't have cheated. This was a fact that Clary would never be able to erase from her mind.

Just as she was thinking of the man that made her body and mind in perfect disaccord, he finally boarded, smelling cold tobacco as he put his briefcase above her head. Clary watched him stretch a little as he neatly put his briefcase up, her mind reminding her of the golden candy hidden behind his suit; but she still had the wit to look away when he finished, and pretend to put away her laptop. From the corner of er eyes, she saw how he checked the seat numbers and let out a small chuckle before sitting down next to her.

"First flight?" He asked all the while buckling his belt with grace and nonchalance. Clary did the same before putting her phone on plane mode as she answered:

"Not really. But it is definitely my first business trip."

He nodded of comprehension, his eyes suddenly solely on the stewardess in front of them as she finally closed the door where people had been coming from. Clary took it as her cue that he was no longer interested on pursuing a conversation; and so, she took one of the magazines at her disposition to skim through while the safety instructions were given. it wasn't that she didn't care about safety, it was just that she had already flown quite a few times and knew them by heart, now.

As the plane took off, she couldn't help the little smile of happiness that grew on her lips for the take off was proving to her that she was really on the way to accomplish her dream job. She turned a little her head to start talking about the mission to Jace Wayland, but when she realised that he was oddly paying great attention to the stewardesses, she decided to turn her attention to the scuttle and to watch the city of New York slowly become nothing but a grain of sand from her perspective.

Once they were in the air, and free to remove their seatbelt, Jace removed his and got up to look for his brief case. Then, he removed a folder from there, and gave it to Clary before he sat back next to her with the same elegance that seemed to follow him everywhere. She opened it, and without much surprise saw that it was the same folder that Hodge had sent to her place, giving all the necessary information they would need to convince their future client that he would need their company.

"I was thinking that we should use the flight time to actually make sure we're on the same page concerning this client," Jace proposed, lowering the tray in front of him to use it as a desk of fortune.

"It's a good idea," She conceded, fully committed to the conversation, and suddenly forgetting all about the man, only seeing a coworker in Jace Wayland. "How do you usually deal with clients? What's your approach with them?

Jace chuckled with disillusion, his eyes solely on the folder as he explained: "Since I am already sort of a pessimist in life, I usually tend to scare people off. You know, tell them all the bad things that could happen to them if they don't sign for the insurance company that I work for. Wether it is human, or financial. And oddly, the richer people are, the more they care more about their money than their family. I once had a client who refused to put life insurance on his wife and kids, but insured almost all valuable things of his domain."

Clary looked at Jace, with horror mixed with denial. If she had to qualify herself, she would say that she was the opposite of him. She wasn't overwhelmingly optimistic; but she wasn't a pessimist like Jace, either. And she would certainly never talk about someone being that shallow and cruel to his family with that much nonchalance. It seemed like it was even a good old joke to Jace.

It seemed that he caught her mood, because he patronisingly smiled to her and said: "Let me guess. You think that you'll never be able to talk about that kind of freaks with so little care … Well, experience hardens you and makes you care less about those …. petty people and their pets problems."

"'Those petty people and their petty problems' are the ones who pay you at the end of the month," Clary pointed out, but Jace seemed to see things differently:

"No. The company pays me. The client pays the company. it's not the same."

"Isn't it? If they don't pay the company, you won't get paid."

"It's not the same. Take as if you were a waitress in a restaurant. The client doesn't pay you directly. But wether there is affluence or not, your boss still has to pay you at the end of the month. No matter what. It's the same here, except that the numbers are just bigger."

Clary looked for something to retort, but couldn't see a flaw in his thinking. He was right. Even if she was being laid off for lack of income for the company, the company would still have to pay her indemnities. No matter what as Jace said.

"Anyway. All of this to say that I think that you would be better than me to sell the good sides of joining our Company, while I would frighten the client by telling him about all the horrible things that could happen to him if he doesn't have our insurance."

"I guess we could work like that," Clary conceded before she took out of her bag her own folder concerning the client, along with a little notepad.

During the whole hour that followed, both her and Jace dissected what the folder was telling them about their client's life, and prepared together to make sure that they would leave with his signature at the bottom of the contract that they would present him.

Clary had to admit to herself that she was pleasantly surprised that Jace did not try to impose her his way of working, or even himself into her work. He listened, and gave his opinion when he seemed to judge that it was necessary; but he did nothing more. It even came to a point where Clary couldn't even tell if he approved or not her way of thinking when it came to work.

When it became obvious that they no longer had anything to talk about that was work related, an awkward silence grew between them. Something heavy and full of tension that she tried to ignore for more than half an hour. There was nothing that she could do to distract herself from the fact that she was sitting next to Jace Wayland, a man she had sex with and on who she still fantasised from time to time despite the fact that she knew that he was married. All the movies that were available on the plane, she had already seen them; and now she was regretting not asking Jon to upload a few films on her laptop so she could have something new to watch.

More than once, she felt Jace's gaze linger on her, and all she could tell about it was that she didn't like it. It wasn't that his gaze was being crude or demeaning; it was just that she didn't like that she liked that he was actually paying attention to her as a person and not just a coworker. And as she was trying to make sense with herself, Clary suddenly realised that the awkwardness that she was facing at this moment was something she was going to have to live with for as long as she would be working with Jace Wayland.

She couldn't decently ask of Hodge to change partners. After all, he told her himself that he teamed her up with the best so she wouldn't have to complain. So she took a deep breath through her nose, and ostensibly turned her body so she would face Jace Wayland as she decided to kill the elephant in the room:

"I think that since we're going to have to work together on almost a daily basis, we should talk about … what happened."

Slowly, Jace Wayland turned his head to look at her, his face not showing a single emotion while his eyes swiftly analysed her own face, searching for something that she couldn't fathom. She waited for him to bounce back and say something, but when he kept on remaining silent, she cleared her throat and said:

"I think we should try to start over, and pretend that nothing happened. I think it is fair to say that we both feel enough suit and angst to take it as our punishment for what we've done. I mean, I don't want to have to spend every flight we will take together in this level of awkwardness."

He still did not say a word, his golden eyes looking at her green ones with intensity and making Clary feel like she should have bore the awkwardness and never intend to address the issue that was between them.

She was about to take her laptop out of her bag, just to pretend to occupy herself with something, when he finally spoke, his voice poised and elegant as always:

"I am sorry about the way I talked to you yesterday night. It wasn't fair of me to lash onto you the way I did, nor to put the blame on your shoulders."

Clary was surprised by this sudden apology, but she didn't let it show the slightest as she asserted with assurance: "It wasn't fair, indeed."

The ghost of a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth before he added: "And I shouldn't have treated you like a ..."

He seemed to hesitate on which word to use, and so Clary decided to help him out on this one, all the while being as honest as possible with him and herself: "Like a whore? You did worst, you made me feel like one."

"I am sorry for that, as well," He apologised, with such a tone that Clary suddenly wondered if the word she used was the word he had been looking for. She tried to find something else, but she didn't know any how-to book that could help her out in this situation.

They stayed silent for a long minute, before she decided that what they both said was enough. She turned to look in front of her again, when he said something that she was not expecting:

"I agree with you, we should try to act professional during our missions together. But as for pretending that nothing happened between us ... I'm not that good of a liar."

Confidence. That little something that can boost someone into believing in themeselves. That little something that can make someone do the impossible. It was probably one of the first thing Valentine taught Clary when she was young. That as long as she had self confidence, as long as she believed in herself, she would be able to achieve her goals. And so, all her life, Clary judged herself as a person who didn't lack confidence.

But at this moment, as the words that uttered Jace Wayland were taking a full impact of her, she found herself suddenly doubting herself. And worst, she could feel her self confidence shy away and try to flee face to the confidence Jace Wayland was showing her.

She looked for something to say, for something that would both ease her conscience, and remind Jace Wayland of what they did and how they both should feel ashamed of their actions; but the words that he uttered just after simply stunned her to a complete silence:

"You're a very beautiful woman, Clarissa. Only a fool would try and pretend otherwise. And I'm just a man, and only a stupid man would pretend that he didn't get the chance to see you in your most beautiful state. I'm not saying that I am going to tell ever soul I know of what happened between us, I am just letting you know that I will not pretend that nothing happened between us."

Against her better, Clary blushed. She didn't need to be a seer to understand the compliment behind the words. And what was worst was that she liked the compliment. She liked the fact that a part of that man she spent a single night with still cared enough to admit to her that he didn't regret the night.

She wasn't a fool, she knew he was as conflicted as her about this whole mess. His confession of last night was proof enough. But still, There was this tiny part of him that claimed loud and clear that he did actually enjoyed his time with her. Just like she did. No matter what, there was this little something, and instead of making her feel guilty, it made her feel on the contrary less guilty.

But the problem remained the same, no matter the compliments, no matter how he would manage to make her feel less guilty: "That doesn't change the fact that you are married."

And finally, Clary saw the mask that he was wearing crumble. Hurt crossed his face, as if he was only remembering their sin, and a selfish and unknown part of Clary liked it. It was if, for a brief moment, his whole attention, his mind and his should had been solely on her, making him forget about everything. Even the ring on his finger.

He deeply inhaled through his nose, and looked back in front of him, his mood suddenly slightly darker as he muttered: "Indeed."

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

Clary watched their client open to Jace and her, completely surprised to see that his face did not match the picture that was shown to them in their folder. It wasn't much that he was a complete different person, it was just that he had drastically changed his look. Instead of having dark locks and a clear face, the man facing them had a perfectly shaven head with a full and garnished beard that would make envious more than one man. Still, his features remained the same, and Clary had to say that she was even caught by the brightness of his blue eyes.

The man, Mister Branwell friendly smiled to them as he made them enter his house, and just by that simple but important smile, Clary could tell that the deal was as good as done. They just needed to pitch properly the deal to him for him to sign the contract that would bound him to their company.

But as they all sat in the small living-room, she suddenly felt something freeze her from the inside. She didn't know how she could even feel something like that, when she had been pitching to rich potential customers for years, and selling her Company's goods for almost as long. But all she could tell was that hearing Jace start his pitch with confidence and relentlessness suddenly made her doubt about her choices in life. What if she wasn't that good after all? What if this job she thought she liked so much wasn't made for her? She wasn't so sure of her selling skills suddenly, and having Jace next to her didn't help her one bit.

Wether it was as a man, or as a coworker, Clary didn't like having him so close to her when she wasn't sure of herself. She didn't know why, but suddenly, he was making her feel nervous. She listened to his pitch, hypnotised by it, as much as Mister Branwell was; but for different reasons. She wasn't mesmerised by the selling man he suddenly was - she wasn't even mesmerised by the handsome man he was (she had enough time to fantasise last night when she was alone in her hotel room)- no, she was caught like a bug in a spiderweb by his confidence.

Maybe it was this peak of confidence that was making her feels nervous; all she knew was that when Jace gave her an opening to jump in the pitch and start talking about the benefits of having their company as an insurance company, she froze. It wasn't something, and for someone as inexperienced as Mister Branwell was, it was unnoticeable; but she knew that Jace noticed. He simply looked at her in a funny way, before he went on with the presentation, giving to their future clients the positive points that she had been supposed to sell herself.

As Jace started pitching the good of their company, Clary felt a wave of self depreciation and low esteem rise in her and beat her down like she had never experienced before. It was as if she was completely useless, when she had been supposed to be the one who would make the client lean in their favour. But before her humiliation could go any further, Mr Branwell unknowingly saved what was left of her self esteem by declaring:

"You don't have to say more, Mister Wayland. I was convinced just by the paper your company sent me. And what you said only comfort me in my idea. I will sign the contract."

Jace politely smiled, slightly nodding in direction of their freshly new acquired client before he turned to Clary and ask her for the contract, even though they both knew that he had himself a copy in his briefcase. It was as if he didn't want for her to appear that useless in front of their client. She plastered her best commercial smile on her face as she took the documents out of her bags and presented the to mister Branwell.

It took them in hands, and as he skimmed through the contract, he joked: "So I see that we still leave women handle the real heavy duty to carry around the important things."

Both Jace and Clary chuckled at the joke, though Clary's heart clearly wasn't in the joke. She felt Jace's eyes swiftly rest on her, before snapping back to Mister Branwell who suddenly got up, urgency written on his face.

"I can't sign a contract like that," He exclaimed, before straddling to a cabinet where he served three glasses of scotch. "I always have a drink for my important deals. And this one is as good as another," He exclaimed, giving both Clary and Jace a glass.

They all cheered and drank, Clary more reluctantly than the two others for she felt she didn't deserve this drink of victory; and after a lot of small talks, Jace and her took leave of Mister Branwell.

In the taxi that drove them back to the hotel, Clary did not say a word, and Jace seemed to respect her wish of silence for he did not utter a word himself. Not even to ask her what happened to her during their meeting. During the whole ride, Clary wondered if she shouldn't reconvert herself in some other profession. It had never happened to her to freeze during a pitch, and this was something depressing to her. She had always considered herself as someone excellent at her job, mostly because she liked it. But now she was not so sure about the quality of her work.

As they were nearing their hotel, Clary could feel Jace's gaze on her, but still, he had the grace to not say anything, her miserable state probably showing on her face. When the cab pulled in front of their hotel, Jace kept the door opened for her; and then he walked her to her bedroom, as any gentleman would have done. While the elevator was taking them to her room, Clary was starting to think at a professional reconversion, considering nun as her number pick. After all, it would solve her problems. She would be less materialistic, she wouldn't have to worry about getting fired, and she wouldn't have to fight with her desires to bang her married co-worker since all her co-workers would be nuns as well.

"Are you alright?" Jace asked her once they were in front of her room, breaking her off of thoughts of celibacy and candle sticks. Clary age him a tight smile, as she assured:

"Yes. Why would you even ask?"

Jace smirked to her, his eyes ravaging her face before he pointed out: "You're not that good of a liar either." She swallowed, looking down and cursing at the fact that he wasn't going to let her in her self pity after all. She would have liked better if he had pretended not to notice anything.

"You know, it's normal to have cold feet for your first big mission. I'm sure that you don't remember it, but I'm willing to bet that you have cold feet when you first started the job. No matter what job you do, wether it's International Agent, waitress, stewardess or retailer; you always have doubts on your first big day. It will go away by our next mission. I'm willing to bet on that as well."

And just like that, just with those simple words, Jace managed to bring back to Clary her confidence. He was right, he first job on the field had been a disaster as well, and this time, she didn't have anybody to help her out. She just had cold feet as he put it, but she was going to rock at their next pitch, like she always did. She wasn't useless, and she wasn't bad at her job. She just felt a bad adrenaline rush. So, she wouldn't have to end up nun, after all.

Those were the words that she had needed to feel confident again; and all she could do as she felt her self esteem rise again was smile with a pure and genuine smile as she looked up at Jace and said: "Thank you."

Jace looked at her funny, before a small tight smile escaped his lips: "You're welcome … And I'm sorry."

"For what?" She asked, wondering why he felt the need to apologise when he just gave her the pep talk of the year.

"For that."

He cupped her face and leaned, everything in his position indicating that he was about to kiss her.

.

.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **㈏4Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed㈏4**

 **.**

 **~ So, I will be honest, I am very excited to read your reviews. Mostly because I know I am a meanie and that I just finished on a freaking cliffhanger. I know, you hate me, but 7K! It's a long update guys!**

 **~ We have Jace making a move on Clary. How do you think she will react? And what was your favourite part?**

 **~Also, there is a Pinterest board of this story, so go check it out**

 **Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9 Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


	5. Chapter 4 — Let It Go

**THIS IS A REPOST. FOR SOME REASONS, FANFIC DELETED THE UPLOAD I MADE A FEW DAYS AGO.**

 **My dear little broccolis** ㈏4㈏4㈏4

 **~ Hey! You're not dreaming! This is really an update.** **Long overdue, but here it is. I Truly hope that you will like it! I know that some typos will be there, but I will linger on them tomorrow, around the same time I will answer you for the previous chapter. I'm too tired right now, but too excited for you to read it.**

 **~ Also, I created a playlist on Spotify with the music that help me write the stories I update. I will refresh the playlist every week. It is called "** Fanfics for my little Broccolis. Mina Lisly **"**

 **~ Anyway, I hope that you will like this chapter. I really hope that you will like it, because it took me forever to write, and well, lemons are on their way. ‼️SPEAKING OF LEMONS, know that those are a slightly different than what** **I'm used to do, and it will keep on going down that road. You've been warned.‼️**

 **~ Anyway, enough chitchat, I will let you read this long overdue update, and will impatiently wait to read your thoughts on it.**

 **Love, Mina** ㈏4㈏4㈏4

 **.**

 **Chapter 4 : Let It Go (6,2K)**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **.**

 **Stone Cold — Demi Lovato**

 **Closer - The Chainsmoker, feat Halsey**

 **Russian Roulette - Rihanna**

 **Alive - Sia**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Clary's PoV.**

 **.**

To let go. To simply let go and live the moment. Without caring about right or wrong. Without caring about tomorrow or consequences. Maybe she could do it. Maybe she could just follow wherever life wanted to take her and stop worrying about what her reason wanted her to do. She could, maybe, just maybe, simply let go. After all, remorses were always better than regrets. That's what Granny Seraphina had always told her.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

Clary did not make a single move, nor even blinked as Jace was getting closer and closer to her. She knew that she should step back. She knew that she should clear her throat to let him know that it was wrong. She knew that she should at least slap him to show him that this was all kind of wrongs. But her body was frozen. She couldn't move. And so she simply stayed there, simply anticipating the act and her reaction as Jace was coming closer to her.

And finally, his lips found hers. The kiss wasn't bruising and demanding, like the first time they kissed in the elevator. It was a simple kiss. A kiss that wasn't about releasing any kind of urges, or about taking something that he conveyed for a long time. It was simply a kiss that was about living the moment. He had wanted to kiss her for whatever reason, known only to him, and so he did.

And that's when Clary finally acted. When she finally stopped being this stoic statue and actually did something. But I like what she thought she would do, she did not chastise him, asking him with an outraged voice what was wrong with him. She did not slap him and haughtily backed away, looking down on him. She actually attacked him in a different way, bringing the kiss on another level.

At first, for a split second, Jace seemed surprised by her action; but that emotion barely lasted. As she started kissing him with need and urgency, wrapping her arms around his neck to have a better access to his lips, Jace made her walk backwards until her back met a wall. And when it did, all Clary could do was cling even more unto Jace, bringing him even closer to her as she was starting to feel against her stomach his desire growing for her.

When she felt him hard against her, she couldn't help the moan that escaped her mouth, which didn't go unnoticed by Jace. He kissed her with even more ardour, his fingers trying to find their way in her hair. Without any sort of control over herself, Clary grazed her fingers until they lost themselves in Jace's own golden hair and fisted the silky texture once she had a firm grip over it.

After she released yet another moan, a little louder that the previous one, Jace's hands left her head to caress her body all the way down to her waist where he firmly took a hold of her all the while leading them to his room across the hall.

And no matter how much her mind was trying to tell her that she should stop everything right now, that she should get a grip over herself and break their embrace, Clary couldn't help but anticipate what was to come. She wanted to know that the memories that she cherished in the dark of the night, the memories that helped her during some lonely nights, the memories that made her crave for more; if those memories were well-founded or if she had fantasised over nothing.

But once the door of his hotel room clacked behind them, it was as if a cold bucket of ice had been thrown over her face. She froze, realising that she was really about to willingly go in the bed of a married man. This was not some fantasy that she conjured to release herself from some urges, this was reality.

It seemed that the same iced bucket had hit Jace, for he had frozen himself and was now looking at her with a weird expression gleaming in his tawny eyes. None of them broke contact, both holding each other's gaze, until he finally spoke:

"That's twice I am taking you to my room, against all reasons."

There was no condemnation toward her in his voice, he was just stating a fact; but Clary couldn't help but feel like this was something that he shouldn't have said. it seemed to have broken the mood, and her out of her reverie where she deluded herself into thinking that she could have sex with Jace once again, when he was in fact a married man.

She hung her head down, and stated what she should have said from the beginning: "I should go."

She started walking back to the door, when Jace's voice stopped with the words she least expected in the world: "You're not a home wrecker." She turned to look at him with disbelief, her eyes speaking the obvious words that she didn't need to say. "That's what I wanted to tell you in the plane. You are not a home wrecker."

"Sure," Is all Clary found to say for she couldn't be more sure of anything else at the moment. After all, she was in the hotel bedroom of a married man, and she had been on the verge to have sex with him for a second time.

"I am divorcing my wife," Jace suddenly said when she reached for the handle of the door, and Clary remained completely silent to that. She did not show any emotions on her face, or in her stature, keeping to herself the humourless laugh that wanted to escape her lips.

Of course that he would try to feed her this lie. 'I am divorcing my wife' was probably the most famous catchphrase of cheating husbands. It was a lie so simple and so easy to feed to someone, because everyone knew that divorces could last for months, and even years for some extreme cases. But still, she felt a little insulted in her ego that Jace would think that she was so gullible that to believe this lie.

When she kept on remaining silent, Jace took a deep breath, with Clary still showing him her back, and he told her: "If you had come a little bit later into my life, it would have been perfect. I wouldn't … I wouldn't have let my basic instincts take over. I would have actually court you like any gentleman does. I would have … done many things, but make you feel miserable like you are now."

"I am not miserable," Clary defended herself with vehemence, whiplashing her head to glare at Jace and show her point; but Jace didn't even waver from his position, looking at her with a clam demeanour.

"Maybe. But you feel miserable around me. I can see it."

She had nothing to retort to that, because it was true. Now that she wasn't lost in the passion and the need of having sex with him, now that she was really thinking of her location and what she had been about to do, Clary had to admit that she was feeling miserable.

"I better get back to my room," Was all she found to say.

"Of course. This is what would be best for both of us," Jace said, walking to her so he could open the door for her and let her go on her merry way. But, just as he was about to open the door, he stopped himself, closing it back as he added: "But I don't want you to go."

Clary planted her green emerald in the topaz of Jace's ones, seeing in them that he was being fully honest with her; and she wondered why did he have to mentally torture her. It wasn't enough that her body was on the verge to feel frustration, she now also had to know that Jace wanted her in his bed as well. She wasn't going to lie to herself, she wanted Jace. She wanted to have sex with him, and him leaning to kiss her neck and nibble her lobe didn't help, especially when he told her in a suave voice:

"I want you to stay with me. I … I want _you_."

Clary did not retort anything to that, no matter how much she knew that she should shoo him off and finish what she started a few minutes ago, meaning leaving this room. She remained as stoic as she could as Jace pressed his body a little bit more against hers and kept on kissing her neck as he let her know:

"You have no idea how much I thought about you over the past couple of months. How much I thought of your mouth, of your body … You have no idea how many times … I wished that you were with me."

All Clary could do was silently curse him to tell her those words. How would she be able to resist when he was tempting her with such sweet words. She wasn't foolish enough to believe that those words were words of love, she knew perfectly well which part of Jace was making him talk at that right moment; but that didnt mean that the same part in her wasn't listening and responding.

When she kept on remaining motionless, Jace took it as his queue to be more persistent since she wasn't running away from him, and he said the words that got better of Clary's reason: "I don't like to beg … But _please_. Stay. Can't you feel how much I want you?"

He pressed himself a little bit more against her, making her feel his obvious erection against her thigh, and that's when all her walls crumbled and she lost herself in the moment, and in what she had wanted from the begenning, thinking that for once, she could just live as the moment was coming, and not be in control of herself.

To let go. To simply let go and live the moment. Without caring about right or wrong. Without caring about tomorrow or consequences. Maybe she could do it. Maybe she could just follow wherever life wanted to take her and stop worrying about what her reason wanted her to do. She could, maybe, just maybe, simply let go. After all, remorses were always better than regrets. That's what Granny Seraphina had always told her.

"Don't hold back," She said, giving Jace the carte balance he had been waiting for.

Without wasting a single second, he took Clary in his arms and walked them to the bed where he put her, his lips angrily looking for hers. Clary didn't hold back either, she hastily looked for the button of his shirt, all the while thrusting her hips upward to meet his enormous bulge. She moaned each time a friction was made between the two of them; and when a guttural groan escaped her lips, Jace broke their kiss to undress her with urgency.

They were both half-naked, with only their underwear to cover themselves, when Jace suddenly sat up, stopping his sweet ministrations, and making Clary wonder if he was having second thoughts. Which deeply annoyed her for she estimated that any moment of doubts he could/should have had, should have been before asking her to stay.

She upped herself a little, resting on her elbows as her eyebrows asked for her the question that she didn't want to formulate; and Jace explained: "I never planned to get you here … I never intended to have you in my room, in my bed."

Clary refrained herself from rolling her eyes, and before she could tell him anything, Jace continued: "I don't have any condoms."

That had the merit to cool her down a little. She already had unprotected sex, but that was with partners she trusted. After all, the fact that she was on the pill only protected her from getting an unwanted pregnancy, not from getting any weird unwanted sexual disease. And so came the question that she never thought she would ask herself. Did she trust Jace?

She pondered the question for a couple of seconds before taking a crazy leap of faith. If Jace trusted her enough to take her word on her taking the pill and not bringing hm children out of nowhere, she would trust him on the health of his body.

"Are you clean?" She asked, seeing surprise suddenly light Jace's face. He looked at her for a split second, his brain apparently doing the same calculations that hers did a few seconds ago: and then, said:

"Yes. What about you?" It felt so weird to have this conversation, in the position in which they were. Every time she had 'the talk' as she would call it, Clary would be dressed, and it would be before even thinking of having sex. When now, it was just done last second, in the hope that Jace wouldn't reveal himself to be diseased bastard.

"I am. And I am on the pill. So we don't have to stop if …" She let her sentence finish on its own and was rewarded by Jace luxuriously smiling to her, before resuming his position where he hovered her with his body pressed against hers.

Slowly and with passion, he started kissing his way down, undoing her bra in the process; but when it became obvious that he was about to give her a cuni, Clary subtly stopped him by grabbing his shoulders and asking for another kiss. She had never been fond of guys going down on her for she never felt any sort of real pleasure out of it. Most of the times, she would fake it for the guy to enjoy since it seemed to be something they enjoyed doing quite a bit. But she never understood the hype behind this all ordeal, and today she wasn't in a mood to fake anything.

So she took Jace's member firmly in her hand, after getting rid of his briefs with her feet; and she empaled herself with it, rejoicing with pleasure when she felt him whole in her. Guys could say whatever they wanted, but she had to admit that feeling a guy without any latex protection was always something out of this world for her.

Jace groaned in her ear, and when she planted her nails in his back, he started mercilessly pounding into her, making her yelp a little every time he would go a little deeper in her. She arched herself a little, just so she could feel him on a different angle; and it seemed that Jace appreciated as much as her this new position for took a handful of her hair tight in his hand before growling in her ear:

"God! You have no idea how good you feel around me."

Clary moaned at those words, arching herself even more before Jace suddenly stopped what he was doing to her and retrieved himself from her. Without consulting her in any way, he made her turn so she would be on her knees, and took her from behind in one hard thrust. Clary screamed with pleasure, a part of her having always liked this position more than she cared to admit.

And as strange as it sounded, the fact that this time Jace was being a little more dominant, and a little more rough was was something that was turning her on more than she thought it would. Especially when Jace tentatively smacked her bottom. She let out a moan of pleasure that encouraged him to reiterate his gesture with a little more force. but it's only when he reached to imprison her neck between his long fingers, all the while pounding into her so hard that her knees were burning against the sheet, that she unexpectedly climaxed loudly.

Jace let her ride her orgasm, though he kept on softly thrusting in her; and after her little rest, he nibbled the skin of her shoulders and back. "Was it good?"

Clary simply nodded, out of breath, but it seemed that Jace wasn't in the mood for silent talks. He made her flip so she would be on her back, and plunged in her in an agonising slow pace as he told her: "I want you to say it. Clarissa."

This was something that she never understood about guys: their need for a girl to say it when it was good. To Clary, it had always felt so strange to have to say those words that were obvious by the way her body just behaved. But still, she gave Jace what he wanted to hear: "I loved it."

Jace looked deep in her green eyes, apparently satisfied by this answer, and rewarded her with a deep thrust that made air escape her lungs. She couldn't help the little smile of satisfaction that spears over her lips when she understood that Jace wasn't finished with her yet; and her smile grew even wider when Jace took a huge chunk of her hair in his hand and pulled on it to make her arch her head a little.

"Maybe I should be a little more rough, on you. Just so that smile never disappears."

"Maybe you should," Clary taunted Jace; and it seemed that it was all he needed to completely lose control.

With urgency, he kissed her, his kiss demanding and imposing a pace that Clary wasn't ready for, while his hips were showing no mercy. But it wasn't like she even considered complaining. She was loving every second of it; and when Jace brought his hand to her neck and tightened a little his grip around her throat, she heard herself asking for more.

"You have no idea how many times I touched myself, thinking of you over the past couple of weeks," He confessed between two thrusts; and no matter of a bad person that could make her, Clary liked to hear those words. She liked to hear that he thought of her, and that his body craved for hers.

"God! it feels so good to have you so wet for me," He added in a ragged voice, before placing both her legs over his shoulders.

The new position made Clary open widely her eyes, and when Jace started going back and forth, all she could do was trash beneath him, screaming his name and punctuating her exits with a 'fuck' every now and then. As she was starting to feel her peak coming again, Jace accelerated his rhythm, breathing heavily while sweat formed on his skin; and as he released in her, Clary reached cloud nine in a last guttural groan.

Jace collapsed on top of her, but she didn't mind. This was a part of sex that she liked a lot, and actually missed with one nightstand: cuddling. As the two of them were trying to find back their breath, Jace kept on caressing Clary's hair, pecking her skin every now and then; and under all those sweet ministration, Clary fell asleep, even though she knew that she shouldn't.

 **~.o.O.o.~**

In the middle of the night, Clary walk up, feeling so hot that she thought for a second that she was on the sun. Momentarily, she was confused about where she was, but then it came back to her. Her body was literally drained, as if she had just gone out to the gym and had an intensive workout there.

She rolled a little, distance herself a bit from Jace who was as hot as a central nuclear, and flung the covers off of her to get some air on her naked body. Jace was peacefully sleeping, unconscious of Clary and the fact that she was observing him; but she didn't mind. She actually looked closely at that man who just made her forget about her morals and what she thought was right, and gave her two mind blowing orgasms in a row.

With a little guilt, she saw that she marked him, traces of her nails flying all over her shoulders and upper arms; and it made her wonder if she was equally marked by him. And this question made her wonder something even more important.

Twice she had sex with Jace Wayland, and twice he completely fulfilled her. Was she the first mistress Jace ever had? How could he be so good in bed, and have a wife who did not want to enjoy all he could give?

But then she recalled the first thing that Jace told her in the hotel room when they met. That he wasn't the kind of man to do that. And strangely enough, she believed him. This was something on which she believed him. That she was the first woman with whom he had sex out of his marriage. She was his first mistress.

 _Mistress_. It was a word that she never thought she would use to refer to herself, but there it was. It was clearly what she was. Even if it was just fr this one time, she was a mistress. She was a woman who willingly had sex with a married man, all the while knowing that he was married. And even if he told her that he was getting divorced, the fact was that at this right moment, he was married.

And just as she was thinking of that, Clary noticed something about Jace. The absence of ring on his finger. This made her frown, because she recalled seeing it during their interview with Mster Branwell. SO when did Jace find the time to remove his ring? It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the gesture, the fact that she did not have to see the ring made her actually feel less guilty. She just couldn't fathom when he removed it.

Slowly, and as silently as she could, Clary tried to find the will to go back to her room, hoping that her cloths weren't scattered all over the place; but she barely had a foot out of the bed that a demanding hand wrapped around her arm and tugged her back in the bed.

"Don't go," Jace mumbled under his breath, holding Clary close to him and preventing her from moving. He kissed her neck, before nibbling her lobe and telling her: "We need to talk. Don't go now, like a thief in the night."

The fact that they needed to talk was an understatement, but that didn't mean that Clary was really eager to have this conversation with Jace. She didn't want to hear certain words coming out of his mouth. And so, she sighed, and reasoned: "I should go."

"Stay," Jace pleaded, though this time, he added in the bargain something that Clary wasn't ready for. He started fondling her clitoris, making her traitorous body respond as if she was a soldier, and Jace was a General.

"You wont regret it," He promised. dipping his head so he could take in his mouth one of Clary's nipple and suck on it until he earned a positive reaction from Clary's body.

Unlike a few hours ago, this time Jace was gentle and sweet. He took his time, and only used his hand to make Clary reach cloud nine. And when she did, she was the first surprised. She had never been found of others masturbating her for she felt that it was something intimate and personal. But this time, she enjoyed it like she never did before.

Though she had to admit that when Jace simply pecked her lips and resumed his previous position, she was relieved that he did not ask for a second round. She was tired, and worst, she was sore. But still, she feel back asleep in Jace's arm, with him caressing her arm as if she was a feather.

 **~.o.O.o.~**

When she woke up again, the sun was already up and bright, making her sit straight in the bed. She checked the time, and saw that she was way too late according to her schedule. With a quick glance around, she spotted Jace on the balcony, smoking a cigarette with a coffee cup in his hands, but she didn't linger on that.

She rushed to her room, cursing at herself for having overslept; and quickly packed her suitcase, fully aware that she wouldn't have time to even take a shower before leaving. Her plane was leaving in an hour, and even though the hotel was next door to the airport, Clary knew that she would arrive just on time for the end of registration if she skipped her shower.

Without even checking herself in the mirror, she dressed casually, tying her hair in a messy bun and simply passing water over her face to wake her properly; and then, she rushed to the reception of the hotel. She didn't know when Jace was due to leave, all she knew was that he was to go back to LA, when she was to go back to New York.

During her cab ride to the airport, Clary thought back of her crazy night with Jace. If she was honest with herself, she loved every second of it. And there was even a part of her that was hoping that Jace wasn't lying when he said that he was divorcing his wife… There was this part of her hoping that, Jace had been truthful when he said that she simply arrived with a bad timing.

But still, that didn't make her feel any better. Because no matter how she put. No matter where Jace and his wife were in their couple. No matter what he said, and what she hoped. The fact remained that she had been his mistress last night.

 **~.o.O.o.~**

When she arrived at her place, Clary was exhausted. The plane ride revealed himself to be more tiring than actual work, but she mostly put her fatigue on the account that she had been stressing a lot about Jace and his reaction to her leaving without eve saying so. After all, he told her that they needed to talk, and it looked like she did exactly what he didn't want her to do: leave like a thief in the night (even if the sun was up).

But as she crossed the threshold of her apartment, all of Clary's worries disappeared in an instant, replaced by the joy of seeing Jon and his fiancé cheering for her. Even Magnus, her best friend was there. The three people in the apartment cheered as she closed the door, with a big and loud 'Congratulations', making Clary smile of glee to them as she embraced each of them in her arms.

"So? How was your first mission, biscuit?" Magnus eagerly asked, to which Clary honestly responded:

"It was a disaster. I froze like a newbie. Thank God my coworker got my back, and we still signed the deal after all."

She saw that they were about to ask questions about this failed first mission, but cut everyone short, taking her suitcase and letting them know: "Just let me take a quick shower. I really need one."

Jon let her know that they would be ordering a pizza as she left the living room, to which she shouted from the corridor that she wanted one with broccoli on it before she went to her room to take what she needed to take her long overdue shower.

Once under the water, Clary thought that she ought to let her parents know about her first mission, and promised to herself to email them first thing in the morning. Though she knew that she would be more descriptive concerning her doubts with her father, when she will only let her Momknow that the deal went well, overall.

When she was feeling fresh and cleaned, Clary passed by the kitchen to grab a beer, and there she saw her brother taking napkins and hot sauce for the pizza. He put down everything he had in hands and asked:

"So? Was is that awful?"

"I didn't say _a word_. It was like I didn't know how to do my job anymore. It was very annoying. Like I said, thank God I wasn't alone on this one," She confessed.

"I think you just got cold feet. It happens to every one. And I'm sure that if you had been alone, you would have done great."

"You have to say that, you're my big brother."

They both smiled to one another, knowing that Jon still meant his words as a person, and not only as a loving brother; and Clary suddenly recalled how their mother seemed worried about Jon when she last had her over the phone:

"By the way, mom feels that you don't talk enough about Izzy. What's up with that? What happened to the Jon who cant shut up about the most-beautiful-soul-he-had-ever-met-on-this-planet?"

She had only meant to tease her brother, but when she saw that her brother's face actually fell down, she concernedly rested a hand on his, silently asking him to rely on her and share his problems with her.

Jon remained silent for five long seconds, during which Clary was doing her best to not imagine the worst, and then he said: "She's pregnant."

Clary didn't utter a word, a part of her wondering why Jon was so beaten down by this news. She knew that her brother had always wanted kids, and she also knew that it was the same for Izzy.

"I know it's supposed to be a good news, … but it's too soon. We didn't plan to have kids for another couple of years … And, well, mostly when we went to the obstetrician to be sure, she said that the pregnancy was going to be a very difficult one because there is something wrong with Izzy's uterus. And Izzy is pretty depressed by this news."

"Oh Jon," Was all Clary found to say, taking her brother in her arms to give him the comfort he needed, though a part tiny part of her still found the space to be astonished by the fact that Jon managed to keep this from himself, especially from their mother.

"Please, don't tell Izzy I told you. She wants to tell people herself about being pregnant."

Clary promised, thinking that she would also need to find a flat first think in the morning. After all, if Izzy was already pregnant, they would need the spare room as soon as possible, if only to get it ready for the child.

The siblings exited the kitchen as if nothing, both putting on a bright smile as if they didn't just talk about a sad topic; and the rest of the evening went on as it usually does when they gather all together like that. It wasn't something very pompous or even with much liquor since only Clary didn't have to get up to work in the morning; and when Izzy and Jon said their goodbyes and left to go in Jon's bedroom, Clary and Magnus caught up.

Clary and Magnus had known each other ever since Clary moved to the Big Apple, and they had what Clary called friendship at first sight. Their friendship was something weird for anyone who knew only one of them, because they had nothing in common; but it was something that she always qualified to be beautiful.

Magnus was now a Broadway costume designer, which helped Clary quite a few times when she didn't know how to dress up for galas and such. It was actually Magnus who dressed her the night she met Jace. And it was also Magnus who designed Izzy's wedding dress, as his gift to the couple.

And of course, to fit in that perfect cliché that all people working in theatres were gays, Magnus was the gayest of them all. He wore eyeliner and glitter on a regular basis, and that was just on a makeup point-of-view. His wardrobe was twice the size of Clary's who considered herself a real girl on that area, but she liked having the possibility to talk cloths with her best friend without boring him to death.

"Anyway, Will is being a real pain in my arse. I mean, why does it have to always be me who does all the travelling? And when I propose him to come live here in New York, where he could easily find a job, he whines about stupid things like not being sure to like the pizza, or the bakeries. So I broke up with him, and now I'm single again. It's annoying. I don't like being single."

"Being single isn't something bad, Magnus. it's good to be one-o-one with yourself from time to time. You don't need someone to be complete," Clary reasoned, though she already knew that Magnus wasn't seeing things the same way she did. Magnus was one of those people who _needed_ to be in a relationship to feel alive.

"I'm not you, Clary. I like having a boyfriend. I like having someone who cares from me, whatever time it is, and thinking of me."

Clary rolled her eyes, the two of them knowing that Magnus would never change his mind on the matter; and after a little silence, he asked:

"What about you? Do you have any exciting story to tell me?"

"Not really," She lied, not really sure she was keeping this secret from her best friend. She knew why she didn't tell Jon, but Magnus was something else entirely. She knew he wouldn't judge her. But still, she kept silent about the married man with whom she had sex twice. And the worst part in all of that was, that when she thought of her night with Jace, she didn't feel as guilty as the first time.

Maybe she was a bad person after all.

 **~.o.O.o.~**

On Monday morning, Clary lazily stayed in bed as she heard her brother get ready for work. She had to say that this was the second best thing of her new contract: staying in bed in the morning when she wasn't in the plane. The first best thing was getting paid to travel, of course.

For a good ten minuted, she stayed in bed, thinking of nothing but how good it felt to do nothing. But when she heard the water being shut down, she finally got up, and took her laptop to check her emails. After analysing the schedule that Hodge had sent her for the next couple of weeks and seeing that this day was her only day off before travelling all over the world; Clary sent emails to her parents, as well as Seb, even though the three emails were rather short.

She was about to start surfing on the web to look for a flat, when she decided to get comfortable during her search of a new place and left her bed to go get some cookies out of the drawer (hoping that Jon didn't eat them all during the weekend). But as she exited her room, she heard her brother argue with someone, which she found odd knowing that Jon never argued with Izzy, and that Izzy left over an hour ago.

She went to the front door, where the disturbance was coming from; and was shocked to see Jace standing there, receiving death glare from Jon.

For a microsecond, Jace and Clary stared at one another, and Clary saw that once again, Jace was not wearing his ring; but then Jon asked with a lot of innuendos: "Clary?"

She reassuringly smiled at her brother, before letting him know: "It's just my coworker I told you about yesterday night. We need to work on some stuff concerning our next mission. I just forgot that I asked him to come this early."

Clary was the first surprised to see how easily it had been for her to lie to her brother. _Especially_ her brother.

Jon gave her a pointed look, before leaving, saying that he would call as soon as he would be at work, which made Clary roll her eyes at the protectiveness that her big brother would show her sometimes.

Once Jon was gone, she looked at Jace from head to toe, before showing him the inside of the flat and stating: "I guess should let you come in?"

.

.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **㈏4Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed㈏4**

 **.**

 **~ So, I will be honest, I am very excited to read your reviews. Mostly because I want to know what you thought of the lemon, and also because ... haha yet another** **cliffy. Moauahahah, I'm the devil!**

 **~ What do you think will happen next? And do you think Jace is really getting a divorce, or just playing Clary? And what was your favourite part?**

 **~Also, there is a Pinterest board of this story, so go check it out**

 **Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9 Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


	6. Chapter 5 — Remorse & Regrets

**My dear little broccolis** ㈏4㈏4㈏4

 **~ Hey! You're not dreaming! This is really an update.** **Long overdue, but here it is. I Truly hope that you will like it! I know that some typos will be there, but I will linger on them tomorrow, around the same time I will answer you for the previous chapter. I'm too tired right now, but too excited for you to read it. And sorry, this chapter is shorter than the others, but promise the next one won't be.**

 **~ Also, I created a playlist on Spotify with the music that help me write the stories I update. I will refresh the playlist every week. It is called "** Fanfics for my little Broccolis. Mina Lisly **"**

 **~ Anyway, enough chitchat, I will let you read this long overdue update, and will impatiently wait to read your thoughts on it.**

 **Love, Mina** ㈏4㈏4㈏4

 **.**

 **Chapter 5 : Remorse & Regrets (4,5K)**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **.**

 **Stone Cold — Demi Lovato**

 **Not Afraid Anymore - Halsey**

 **Skyfall - Adele**

 **Helium - Sia**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Clary's PoV.**

 **.**

Oblivion. That was the perfect word. She was seeking oblivion. She was wishing that she could forget anything that was personally related to Jace Wayland, and it suddenly accorded to her that her brain was twisted and evil. How come her brain could make her forget about important things such as birthdays, dates, filing tax reports; but was so eager to make her remember in the most minute details anything that she did with Jace Wayland, especially when she would gladly forget that one simple thing.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

Jace crossed the threshold of the apartment she was sharing with her brother, neither of them saying a single word. Clary was trying to keep her head high, and pretend that she wasn't phased by the fact that Jace flew all the way back to New York, and found her apartment. But if she was honest with herself, she was finding it a little creepy that he knew where she lived, when they barely exchanged a word that did not have to do with work, or sex.

As she lead him to the living room, she could still feel his hard gaze on her, his two golden eyes burning holes in her back and piercing through her to see her darkening soul. She was wondering what would happen next. Would they talk, or would it be like last time, and end up having sex? And a dark and twisted part of her was hoping for the latter. Jace was a really good lay, and her body remembered exactly how good he was.

But before she could do anything irrational, she cleared her throat, still avoiding looking at the blond man in the eyes, and she proposed him something to drink.

"I told you that we needed to talk about this. I told you not to leave like a thief in the night. And yet, it's exactly what you did. You snuck out on me without any explanation," Jace snapped, his voice clary showing that he wasn't food by the fact that her proposition was just a way for her to avoid their long overdue conversation.

But there was something else in his tone, something imposing and demanding that Clary didn't like. It was as if she owed him any sort of explanation, when she certainly didn't. He wasn't her father, and she certainly wasn't his wife.

"Well, sorry for not being at your disposition twenty four seven. Some of us have obligations, you know. Like catching a plane, going back home, having a life. And for your information, I almost missed my plane. So don't come here, all almighty, saying that I am acting shady when you're the one with the questionable behaviour," Clary retorted, her voice calm, but as imposing as his.

Jace looked at her, a little taken aback, before he confessed: "I didn't think that your plane was leaving in the morning. I figured you would leave in the afternoon, just like me."

"And I figured that we would talk during our next mission. But apparently I have been assigned to work with a stalker," She responded, with a little poison in her tone, just to make him react properly.

No matter how movies and books made it look like, a guy following her girl to her house when she never gave him the address was creepy. It was bound to be in the notebook of a stalker, along with the lyrics of _Every Breath You Take_ by The Police.

Jace narrowed his eyes at her, clearly not liking being called stalker, and it was at that moment that Clary finally felt like she was back to her usual self. Why should she feel guilty or bad because she didn't let hm know that she was leaving. They weren't in a relationship, she didn't owe him anything, and he was the one acting creepy about it all by coming all the way to her place when he was living on the other side of the country.

"Your address is my contract, just like mine is in yours. We are partners, after all," He explained with a little irony echoing in his voice, and making Clary suddenly feel a little stupid. She did recall seeing a part detailing Jace's contact informations, and her forgoing the whole thing for she didn't want to linger more than necessary on that part when she was reading her contract.

But that did not make her wit die, as she pointed out: "My point exactly. You live in LA, what are you doing here, in New York? Aren't you supposed to be back in Cali, pretending to be the perfect husband to your wife?"

She had to admit, that last part was mean of her. She didn't have to rub in his face that he was married, and that he was far from being a perfect husband. After all, if he wasn't faithful, half of the fault fell on her shoulders. And she didn't need to look at his face to know that she had hurt his feelings though her words.

A small silence formed between them, during which Clary debated with herself between feeling bad for being so snappy toward Jace, and feeling satisfied with herself on implicitly telling Jace that she wasn't that naive, and that she was still doubting his 'I'm-divorcing-my-wife-ordeal'. She knew that this was _the_ pickup line of all cheating husbands, so gullible women would eagerly open their legs for them, without feeling guilty about it.

"What I told you is true," Jace articulated, accentuating each of his word with sincerity and firmness. "I am divorcing my wife, no matter how cliché this sentence might sound. The fact that I met you and had sex with you has no impact on that decision. At the end of the day, I am still divorcing my wife, wether you came in my life or not."

"Whatever," Was all Clary found to say. This new piece of information was something she needed to think of peacefully, with a clear mind, not while Jace was still next to her, watching her and analysing every single reaction coming from her.

"I think that at the end of the day, those two times we had sex were mistakes, and that we shouldn't reiterate those mistakes. We should be professional, and let those mistakes where they belong: to the past."

For a moment Jace didn't say a thing, his tawny eyes looking into Clary's green emerald as if he were seeking some hidden meaning behind her words; and then, he passed his hand in his hair as he admitted in a low whisper: "You're right. What happened between us was a mistake."

Even though she was the one who said that they committed a mistake, it still hurt Clary to hear Jace admit it so easily. After all, wasn't he the one who flew all the way to her city because he thought that she was trying to avoid a conversation with him. She was confused on wether she wanted Jace to care, at least a little about her, even though she knew that she shouldn't.

She started pretending to busy herself with making the room even neater than it already was, when Jace continued: "What would have been the right thing to do would have been for me to take you first to dinner."

This had the merit to briefly startle Clary out of her 'cleaning', although she didn't reply anything. She waited a little to see if he had anything to add to what he already said, and when it became obvious that she was not going to bounce on his last statement, he continued:

"And I stil want to do the right thing. I want to get to know you better. I don't want what happened between us to turn out to be a one meaningless thing."

She knew that she was supposed to say something, wether it was encouraging him, or letting him know that he was living in a delusional world, she was supposed to at least _say something_. But she wasn't sure of what she was feeling, what she wanted and what she was supposed to do. She was simply and utterly confused, and this confusion was the reason why she unexpectedly answered:

"Coffee? Do you want some coffee?" Jace opened his mouth, his brows furrowed with incomprehension before she added: "I'm going to make some coffee. Just take a seat, relax, and I'll be right back."

Then she flew to the kitchen, and let her thoughts get lost as the coffee maker was filling drop by drop liquid life into her pot.

She knew what Jace was implicitly proposing her. Even though if he didn't say it in so many words, Clary had understood the innuendo. He was asking her to be his mistress until his divorce. The virtuous part of her, the part that made sure that she had always been a good girl was completely appalled by this proposition. She had always been a good person, and she shouldn't let those two indiscretions she had change that about her.

But there was a wild side of her who … liked this forbidden side of the relationship that Jace was proposing her. If she was looking just at the practical side of the proposition, it was perfect for her. She would have someone in her bed, without having to worry about stings attached. He was a married man, so nothing would ever bloom from their relationship, and in all honesty, Jace was an excellent lover.

And there was the problem The fact that he was a married man. No matter the fact that he was divorcing his wife, he was still a married man. He was still a man who made a promise to another woman, and who was breaking it because of her. Could she live with that? How would she react if she were the wife, and learnt that her husband, the man that she trusted with her body and soul, had betrayed her like that?

The coffee-pot made a little noise, indicating that it was done; and Clary poured herself a mug and one for Jace, before going back to the living room, still confused on what she should do.

Jace was sitting on the couch, at the place that she usually occupied, his elbows on his knees and his head hanging low. He seemed so vulnerable at this moment, that Clary suddenly felt all the guilt, confusion and anguish that must have been overwhelming him ever since that night in the hotel.

She silently sat beside him, putting the mug of coffee in front of him, before she quietly sipped on her own coffee, relishing in the bitter taste of the brown liquid. With the poise that seemed to follow him everywhere that he would go, Jace took the mag, making Clary realised to late that she served him in Jon's mug. Not that it was a problem in itself, but it would have been better if he didn't have to hold a mug saying 'The best of the best'.

"Clarissa —" He started, and without even having to think about it any further, Clary cut him off, and said with conviction:

"I am not that kind of person, Jace. Trust me, I'd like nothing more than to keep on discovering what your body can do to mine, but I am not a mistress. I am not the other woman. I am not a reason one can use to end a marriage. I am just a girl who likes to have fun and who didn't realised that you were married when she came on to you. What happened between us isn't who I am."

As she said those words, it was as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders. t wasn't much that she was trying to justify herself in the eyes of Jace (he better than anyone knew how weak she could be when it came to make the rational decision), but it was something that had been hanging in a corner of her mind ever since the night of the contract's signature. She wanted him to know that she wasn't that kind of person, that no matter how it might have looked back at the hotel, she like himself had never participated in an adultery relationship.

For a long minute, none of them said anything, both looking down their mugs, lost in their thoughts; until Jace sighed a small heave, closing his eyes as he whispered: "Like I said, it would have been so much better if we had met later in life. When I would have been divorced."

"Indeed. It would have been so much easier if you didn't have that ri—" Clary stopped herself, her eyes looking for the ring, but never finding it. Jace followed her gaze when she didn't finished her sentence, and when his eyes met his ringless finger, he had a disabused smile.

"Even when I don't have it on, it still has a presence. I am trying to get used to the feeling. It's only a matter of months until the divorce is pronounced. The thing about my marriage that you have to know —"

"I don't want to know!" Clary abruptly stopped him. She didn't know if he was talking to himself, or to her for his tone had become so detached and nostalgic; but she was sure of that one thing, she didn't want to know anything about Jace's wife. She didn't want to know if she was a good person, or not. Mostly because it was easier for her to think of Mrs Wayland as a bad person, than to know for a fact that she wasn't. It was easier to think that what she did with Jace wasn't such a bad thing in their marriage, because she was brought some mistakes in their marriage as well.

"I don't want to know anything about your wife or your marriage. I don't want to feel even more … bad by knowing things I'd rather know nothing about," Clary explained under Jace's quizzical gaze. And just by the way he looked at her, they both knew that she had been on the verge to use the word 'miserable'.

Jace let out another sigh, his eyes ravaging Clary's face for something, though she couldn't fathom what; and then he gave her a small smile and got up, telling her:

"I think I should go. I obviously caught you out of bed, and my own bed is calling me. Travelling wore me out more than usual this time."

With horror, Clary realised that she must look like a mess. She didn't mind her brother seeing her like Mufassa when she got out of bed, because he was her brother. But she didn't like anyone else seeing her mane fresh out of bed, _especially_ not Jace who always had this image of her always neat and clean. She internally whimpered, cursing her laziness for not having braided or put in a bun her hair yesterday night, and she congratulated herself for not having been too lazy to at least wash her face and take off her makeup. And also for having had the good sense to put real pyjamas on, and not only sleep in underwear as she would often do.

"You're going back to LA?" She asked as if nothing and walking him back to the front door. Jace shook his head and explained:

"No. I'm staying at the Hilton in Time Square."

Clary nodded, opening the door for him, and awkwardness grew even stronger between them. She tried to find a decent way to tell him goodbye, but she couldn't think of any, only wishing that there was _For Dummies_ book to help her in this situation she was in

"I will see you during our next mission," Jace said, before walking away from her apartment, and Clary stayed by her door, watching him take the stairs as she whispered a small 'sure', more to herself than to him, all the while wondering to herself what would have had happened if Jace hadn't been married.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

"So as soon as I have all the papers, the apartment is yours to take, starting the first of next month," Mr Graymark said, all smiles while Clary couldn't believe her luck.

After Jace left her apartment, Clary didn't take the time to dwell on her situation. She went back flat hunting on the internet, until she found an interesting offer that she couldn't forgo. The apartment was in Queens, which meant that she wouldn't be far from the airport, nor from her brother since their current apartment was in Brooklyn.

But the golden opportunity was more than just its location, it was at an incredible cheap price, considering the fact that it was almost in the centre of New York. When she called the landlord to get a visit for the same day, Clary had been expecting to find many skeletons in the closet, for she couldn't believe there could be such a great flat, for such a small rent. The rent was almost losing half of its value, and when she mentioned it to Mr Graymark when she came for the visit, he admitted that he lowered the price because he was in a hurry to rent it.

The apartment had always been in his family, and his sister was living in it until recently. He himself never actually lived in New York for he was working (and living) in South Korea; but his sister passed away a couple of months ago, and Mr Graymark couldn't picture living in the place that called home. Without saying that he had a whole life back in South Korea. He didn't want to pass through an agency, because his sister used to be anti-conformist, and it seemed an insult to her memory to do so. So he decided to rent it himself, and after not having found someone he thought would be good enough when the rent was high, he decided to lower it to enlarge his possibilities.

So this was how Clary found herself a new apartment, not even three hours after having started to look for one, and though she was very happy about it, there was still a ball of anxiety in her stomach. First, she had no idea what she was going to tell Jon about her new acquisition. Jon and her had been living together since … forever. The only time they had been apart were the four years Jon came to New York after graduating, and Clary was still in high school. A part of her actually had this dream where the two of them would buy a huge house together and they would keep on living together forever. But she knew it was only a fantasy, a dream that would never come true.

And still, she wished it could have been true. The second reason of her anxiety was the fact that this was a big step toward independence, and that she waste sure that she was ready for it. She had always been a rather independent person, but she also always lived with people. She never lived on her own, even just for the short time of vacations, she had always been with someone, family, friends, love interests. The very few nights Jon slept over at Izzy's were usually restless nights for Clary for she would be aware of every single sound she would hear, or even imagine.

So this step she was making by taking a flat on her own was exciting as much as it was frightening.

She took the subway to go back to our home, wondering how she would break the news to her brother, and if she should call Izzy to the rescue; when she decided better of it, and changed direction to go to Pandemonium. It was a little bar, borderline club, just outside of Bronx where Magnus and her loved to go when they wanted to have a good time. It was also the place where she used to bring Jon when he would have his heart broken, or when he was feeling down.

Clary actually loved going to Pandemonium. It was a place where she could let herself go without a care in the world. It was actually the place where she found a few of her conquests, and where she celebrated all her great victories, except the one of her new contract.

As she sat at a table of two, she sent a text to her best friend, asking him if he was available, and ordered a Cosmopolitan to celebrate her newly found flat. At first, she didn't pay any attention to the looks that a few guys were casting in her direction. She was no stranger to that kind of attention, and it never really bothered her; but she was waiting for an answer form her friend, and when Magnus texted her back to let her know that he was still working and that he doubted that he would leave early, Clary ordered another Cosmo, letting herself look at one of the guys who was cutter than the others.

Still, as she was sipping her drink, she wondered if for once, alcohol wasn't the solution to this big problem in her life. Maybe if she drank enough, her mind would be kind enough and make her forget, take her to ... _oblivion_.

Oblivion. That was the perfect word. She was seeking oblivion. She was wishing that she could forget anything that was personally related to Jace Wayland, and it suddenly accorded to her that her brain was twisted and evil. How come her brain could make her forget about important things such as birthdays, dates, filing tax reports; but was so eager to make her remember in the most minute details anything that she did with Jace Wayland, especially when she would gladly forget that one simple thing.

"How about I offer you your next Cosmo?" A suave voice asked, handing her a glass full of pink liquid.

For a split second, Clary considered the possibility of shooing him off, but still invited him to sit at her table with a sultry smile, thinking that maybe he would be her mean to forget all that nasty business concerning Jace. The man sat under Clary's very attentive eyes who noticed his man-bun, his neat cloths, his three o'clock beard well thought of, the way his work shirt perfectly embracing his torso, proving that he worked out.

Clary waited a little, before hailing a waiter and ordering another cocktail and making the man in front of her rise a questioning eyebrow, to which she explained:

"Don't tell me that no girl ever told you that does doesn't accept drinks from strangers. You could have roofied my drink without me knowing about it, so you could have your way with me."

"If I wanted to have my way with you, I'd use my good charms, not some drugs that would make you forget all about me and my incredible performances."

Clary bursted in laughter, before she retorted: "They better be incredible, because I have the memory of Dory. I forget very easily the useless events in my life."

The man smiled, obviously thrilled that she entered his game, and wittily answered: "Well, I will just have to make sure that I reiterate my performances again and again until you forget your own name."

As he said so, the man's eyes ravaged Clary's body, as if she were some sweet candy that he couldn't wait to unwrap; and this look alone gave to Clary the go that she was ready for next step. She sipped on her drink, a part of her mind nothing that as they talked, the man had gotten closer and closer to her, and she lightly said:

"Words, words, words. That's what you men are all about. Just words in the wind. But when it comes to action, nobody's here."

It seemed to have been the window the man had been waiting for, because as soon as her words were out of her mouth, they were replaced by his lips. It was an hesitant kiss, a silent way to ask permission to go further, and still a promise to some fun. And yet, this kiss seemed tasteless to Clary. And so she broke it, before taking a long sip of her drink.

How ironic that she had been hoping that a mix of alcohol and this nice man would help her forget about Jace; and that simple kiss did the exact contrary. She liked the way Jace kissed her without mercy, and yet as if she were fragile somehow. She liked how Jace's lips made her inside twirl, and her body melt. She liked how a simple kiss from Jace made her whole body ready for him.

"I'm sorry. I came here to forget about someone, but it doesn't seem to work," Clary apologised, suddenly feeling bad for leading on such a funny man for nothing.

The man brushed it off, and simply got up with a smile, leaving money for her drink as he leaned to whisper in her ear: "If you can't forget about him, if you can't stop thinking about him, why being so stubborn? Remorses are always better than regrets."

Clary watched him walk away with grace and elegance, and once he was no longer in her viewing range, she got up and left the bar before hailing a taxi to take her to Jace's hotel.

She knew that she shouldn't, that this wasn't what moral would have her do, and mostly she knew that she couldn't blame it on the alcohol this time. She was sober enough to know what she was doing. The alcohol just gave her the little courage to go with what she wanted, and not what she should do.

Once at the reception of Jace's hotel, a little cold chill went through her spine, telling her that there was no going back from what she was about to do, but she still asked for Jace's room number, and went to his door, her heart hammering at the thought of what she was doing.

She was about to knock, when she suddenly froze. Remorse or regret? She couldn't figure if would end up regretting going to Jace, or if she would simply have remorses about it. For a long minute, she pondered the pros and the cons, before she finally knocked, her heart knocking on her ribcage at the same time.

She didn't even have the time to try and be a chicken about it, and run; Jace immediately opened the door, dressed in casual indoor cloths and looking at her with astonishment, showing that he was clearly not expecting her.

She didn't say anything, she didn't try to explain anything, and simply kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck, and relishing when he gave her back her kiss.

.

.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **㈏4Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed㈏4**

 **.**

 **~ So, I will be honest, I am very excited to read your reviews. Because for once, it ended on a nice note. See, I am not that evil, it could have been a cliffhanger.** **Haha.**

 **~ What do you think will happen next, knowing that some Clace will happen at the beginning of the chapter? What do you think of Jace so far? And what was your favourite part?**

 **~Also, there is a Pinterest board of this story, so go check it out**

 **Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9 Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


	7. Chapter 6 — 'Leave The Guilt To Me'

**My dear little broccolis** ㈏4㈏4㈏4

 **~ Hey! You're not dreaming! This is really an update.** **Long overdue, but here it is. I Truly hope that you will like it! I know that some typos will be there, but I am so excited for you to read it.**

 **~ Also, I created a playlist on Spotify with the music that help me write the stories I update. I will refresh the playlist every week. It is called "** Fanfics for my little Broccolis. Mina Lisly **"**

 **~ Anyway, enough chitchat, I will let you read this long overdue update, and will impatiently wait to read your thoughts on it.**

 **Love, Mina** ㈏4㈏4㈏4

 **.**

 **Chapter 6 : 'Leave The Guilt To Me' (6,5K)**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **.**

 **Stone Cold — Demi Lovato**

 **Not Afraid Anymore - Halsey**

 **Together Again - Evanescence**

 **Free Me - Sia**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Clary's PoV.**

 **.**

Guilt. Guilt had always been something that Clary considered as a weapon used by people to make others bend their way. She had always been a person prone to feel guilty when the right words were used against her, especially when she was younger. With guilt, one could easily get what they wanted out of another person, and Thiais was why Clary always did her best to stay in the lines of right, so no one could ever try to make her feel guilty.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

When Clary's brain emerged from slumber, her first move was to roll on the side and will it back to sleep. She didn't want to get up just yet, and just wanted to enjoy the warmth of the bed a few more moments. Still, after a few more moments of simple and harmless bliss, her mind started working and the first concrete thought that came to her was: where was Jace. He obviously wasn't in bed with her, because for the couple of times they shared a bed, Clary could attest of one thing, Jace was so warm that he would irradiate the bed with his heat.

With all the efforts of the world, she opened her eyes, blinking at the sunlight trying to blind her; and she spotted Jace smoking on the balcony. His arms were resting on the balustrade, his eyes lost into space. If Clary should define this moment and pose, she would use the words James Bond. At this right moment, Jace reminded her of a James Bond movie.

Still, she rolled back to the bed, throwing the cover over her face to hide away from the light, all the while thinking that of all the men on the planet, she _had_ to get stuck with a smoker. This wasn't the first time that she was seeing smoke, and he did it so thoughtlessly that she assumed that it was something natural, and therefore rooted in him.

But instead of lingering on how she never liked smokers, she rather think of what Jace had told her the night before, between two forbidden kisses. " _Leave the guilt to me_." She wasn't going to lie to herself. This idea that she could simply not feel guilty all the time, that she could put all the blame on him was really appealing. She even thought that it was what would make this relationship work. Maybe if she acted as if nothing and let Jace handle all the negative emotions that could come out of this relationship, maybe she could put her moral aside and enjoy what she could of this ... _affair_.

But before she could think further into that logic, her phone rang, making her jump on herself for she was not expecting it. With her heart hammering, she picked up, seeing that it was her brother. Jon had tried to call her the night before, but she had been otherwise busy, and was certainly not going to pick up, while she was in bed with a man.

"Give me a second," She asked before he could say anything, and she rushed to the bathroom. She didn't really know why she did so, but she didn't like having telephonic conversation in front of other people in general; and if Jace was to be back to the room soon, she didn't want to have to censure herself for his sake.

"Sorry, sorry for yesterday night. Something came up, and I didn't think to warn you," She apologised as soon as she was locked in the bathroom, knowing that Jon must have been worried sick when she didn't come back home without telling him ahead. It already happened many times that one of them would sleep over somewhere else, but they always warned the other for good mesure.

" _Something_? Are you sure it's not _someone_?" Jon asked, everything in his voice telling Clary that he had a very good idea of who that someone was. But she didn't let it startle her, especially since she never planned on letting _Jon_ , of all people, know what kind of relationship she was entertaining with Jace.

"None of your business, Jon."

"Hell yes it is my business. What kind of guy shows up bright in the morning without you knowing about it? And first of all, I thought you didn't like mixing up pleasure and work?" He strongly accused, and this made her roll her eyes to the heavens. Jon could be worst than her father at times.

"Like I said, Jon, none of your business. He's just a guy from work, and though I don't have to justify myself to you, I did not mix pleasure and business."

Jon made a very disbelieving sound on the other end of the phone, which Clary could completely understand. She was completely lying through her teeth there, and a part of her was sure that Jon was very well aware of it. But then again, she had always been better than him to keep secrets, and she was very well determined to keep Jace a secret from her family.

There was a small silence during which neither of the siblings wanted to give in, before Jon heavily sighed, and asked: "Are you coming home, tonight?"

"Of course, Jon. Unless I am banned for having slept over once without telling you first?" She teased and she could almost picture her brother slightly shaking his head at her.

"Don't be ridiculous, Clary. Just so you know, Izzy is staying home tonight, so keep your mouth shut about what I told you."

"Do I have to remind you that I am the one who knows best how to keep a secret in the family? Izzy will never know that you told me anything concerning _you know what_ ," She playfully said, using a very suspicious tone at the end of her sentence that made Jon react exactly the way she had expected him to do so:

"That's not conspicuous at all! She's already stressed enough, don't make her hate me, or I will kill you!"

Clary snickered at her brother's threat, earning even more threats and complains from his part. Then, she promised to behave, and the siblings hang up on each other after having said their goodbye. For a few moments, Clary didn't move, keeping her phone in her hand while sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

She thought of the fact that she still didn't let Jon know about her imminent move, and she knew that he would not take the news very well. The two of them were living in a good harmony, and even though they still bickered from time to time, that did not stop them from loving the life they had together. Clary was sure that Jon would take her leaving their apartment as her trying to detach herself from their family (that he was starting to expand), and she could completely understand him, because a part of her was feeling like she was betraying her family by finding her own place.

With a little heave, she shook her head and splashed her face with ice cold water before she walked out of the bathroom, ready to go back to bed and enjoy the warmth of the covers. But what she was not expecting was to find Jace sitting on the bed, waiting for her and appreciating the sight of her body from toe to head. His eyes ravaged her body, clearly enjoying the fact that she was still naked. Clary had never been a prudish person, and more of a 'free-the-nipples' kind of girls; so it had always been something natural for her to walk in the outfit Mother Nature had given her. Especially since had been generous to her and had given her curves that were well proportionate and placed at the right places.

Finally, Jace's gaze came up her face, and Clary suddenly felt very self conscious when his eyes lingered more than they should on her hair. She inwardly whimpered, cursing herself for having fallen asleep without at least putting it in a bun, but it seemed that Jace was not sharing her capillary dislike.

"I think this is the hair I like better on you," He simply said, and though his voice echoed with sincerity, Clary still ended up making a grimace at the mention of her hair. She was no fool, and knew perfectly well that it looked like a mess at the moment. Especially since she wasn't one of those girls who spent hours to have healthy and shiny hair.

With a little grunt, she made her way back to the bed, and sat there, throwing the covers over her naked body for Jace seemed to have had the crazy idea to let the French windows open so fresh air could get in. Jace watched her smile with satisfaction when she found out that the bed was still warm; and he proposed:

"Coffee?"

Clary made a face, and let him know: "As tempting as it sounds, I don't really like drinking coffee on an empty stomach. Plus I'm trying to cut down caffeine."

Jace chuckled a bit, clearly amused by what she just said. "You chose the wrong line of work to stop caffeine. Except if you're planning of changing that for something stronger and whiter." Clary narrowed her eyes at him, clearly understanding that he talked about cocaine, and wondering if he had ever taken any.

"Anyway, I guess this is my chance to take you out for brunch," Jace said, getting up and holding his hand out to her for her to do the same.

Clary swiftly glanced sideways, seeing that it was past ten already, and when she looked back at Jace, shirtless with his trousers seeming to hang only with his hip bones, she suddenly felt more horny than hungry. So instead of taking his hand, she sultrily bit her lower lip and sensually uttered:

"How about you feed me with sausage, first? Just for me to have the strength to get out of bed, you know?"

Jace barely seemed taken aback by her boldness, and instead grinned at her, shaking at her in a playful patronising way. "So eager to be full, Clarissa."

Clary grimaced at the use of her name, and she explained: "Clary. Hearing my full name makes me feel like I'm about to be grounded, or punished."

She hoped that she didn't kill the mood with this explanation, but it was necessary. It wasn't the first time that he was calling her Clarissa, and she didn't want it to be a mood killer at one point in their relationship.

Jace simply nodded, before grinning even more, and hovering over her, forcing to lay back on the bed as he said in a low growl: "Maybe you are about to be punished …"

And without further ado, he lunged at her, making her yelp as his body collided with hers.

Not even a second later, Jace's lips were on hers, claiming her like a lion claims his land, and Clary gladly let him set the pace. This was something she liked about Jace, how (out of the three times they've been together), he always managed to surprise her. Usually, the men she had been with were all pretty much the same. Meaning that if one was a soft lover, he would usually stay a soft lover all along their relationship. And this was the thing, Clary liked both sides. She liked the soft side of sex, as much as the rough aspect of it. It just depended of her mood. And it seemed that Jace understood that without her having to tell him anything about it.

So when he took her hands in his to pin them above her head, Clary didn't struggle one bit and gladly followed Jace where he was willing to take her. Once her hands were secured in his right hand above her her, he tantalisingly let his left hand travel down her body, stopping at the spots he had discovered to be the most sensitive.

Clary closed her eyes, enjoying each sensation that Jace would sent through her body; and when he twisted a little her left breast, she let out a yelp that made her snap back open her eyes widely, meeting Jace's golden orbs observing her without a ounce of shame in them. For a second, they stayed at each other, Clary realising that it was the first time they were having sex under bright light of natural sunlight; and then, Jace let go of her hands to sup her face, all the while his other hand kept on going south.

With delicacy, he stroke her face, his eyes never leaving hers, and almost not allowing her to look away, while his left hand busied itself with playing with her sweet little nub. And the more his fingers played music inside of her, the more Clary was feeling her peak coming, though she did her best to fight it.

" _Don't_. Come for me, Clary. Let me see your face as I make you come with my fingers," Jace told her, and she didn't know what if it was the authoritative tone he used, the way he was looking at her, or the never ending flicking fingers, but she completely let go, her mouth forming a perfect 'O' as her back arched from the bed.

Jace let her come down her high as he removed his trousers, and then he aligned himself with her opening and whispered in her ear: "Watching you come is such a big turn on. I'll never get tired of this sight."

Just as he uttered those words, he strongly plunged in her, gripping her hair to make her face him and look at him. His thrusts were rather soft and gentle as he leaned to kiss her and nibble her neck, but when she moved her arms to wrap them around his neck, Jace pinned them back against the bed and mercilessly pinned her against the mattress, not that Clary minded.

He never took his eyes off of her, and what Clary thought would be uncomfortable for her at first, turned out to be something completely new and exiting to her. She had always been the kind of girls who liked better to have sex in the dark, because though she wasn't embarrassed by her body, she always started feeling a bit self conscious when a guy was staring at her for too long. Especially in bed.

But Jace was looking at her in a way that made her insides melt. There was something incredibly erotic in the way his eyes were ravaging her, and she had to admit to herself that never before she had felt so desired in her entire life. When he leaned down to kiss her, she gave him back his kiss with as much passion as he was showing, even though her hands were restrained, and before she could register it, Jace made them switch in the bed so she would be on top of him.

Once she was in control, Clary didn't pick up the rapid pace that Jace had set earlier. Instead, she slowed it as much as she could, letting her hand travel all over Jace's torso, her nails slightly grazing his skin. With the same slowness, she went up and down, looking at him the same way he looked at her earlier; and when he reached out to put his hand on her lower back, she smirked at him, and pinned his hands above his head, just like he did to her earlier.

She kept her slow pace up until the point when she would feel that his frustration was starting to eat him, and that's when she increased her speed. With an obvious delight, she bounced on him, closing her eyes when he loudly growled of pleasure. Jace let her ride him, until something seemed to break in him, and he broke free from her hands, only to grab her by the buttocks and position her in a different angle that made Clary scream with a new found pleasure.

Jace had unfolded her legs and now she was almost lying on him, making her crotch hit his pelvic bone, all the while his member would hit a different angle inside of her. Clary kept moving on top of Jace, loving all the sensations she could feel at once and feeling her body burn as if her blood had turned into lava. Jace was squeezing her cheeks, meeting her thrusts with eagerness, and when he hit her with a little more force, she could help but yelp:

" _God, Jace_!"

One of his hands left her butt to grab a fistful of her hair and bring her face to his so they could share a kiss, before he told her with that deep voice that she liked so much about him: " _Fuck_! I'm about to come. Come with me, Clary. I want to feel you squeeze my cock with pleasure."

And as demanding and authoritative as it sounded, Clary gladly obeyed, reaching nirvana as her voice reached a few octaves higher. Jace finished right after her, growling out his orgasm with an obvious pleasure and Clary let herself fall limp on top of him, not caring if they were both covered with heavy sweat.

For a moment, none of them said anything or did anything, both simply trying to catch their breath after that intensive workout; but then, reality came back to them through Clary's stomach loudly growling and claiming the food that it had been promised earlier. They both laughed at it, when Jace's stomach joined the party as well, making them laugh even more.

"How about I give you real food, now?" Jace proposed, though he did nothing to stop drawing soothing circles on her back.

In a brusque move, Clary got up, knowing that otherwise she would lazily stay in bed all day long. "I'm going to take a quick shower," She I formed Jace before going to the bathroom and hitting the shower.

Once under the burning hot water, she thoroughly washed her body, using the opportunity to wet her hair so she could try to tame it a little. When she was over, she let Jace take his shower, while she got ready, not really fond over the fact that she had to wear the same cloths and underwear as the day before; and then, she looked like the mess that was her hair. She didn't even try to do anything since she have neither a brush, or a comb, and simply tied it into a messy bun that would give the impression that she spent some time working on her hairdo.

When they were both ready to go, they left the hotel room; and Jace led her to a nice little café that was situated between the hotel and her apartment. She was surprised, because she had been expecting Jace to take her to the lobby, or even call room service. After all, when a married man had a woman on the side, that was how he treated her. But she did her best not to linger on that, and do as he told her: leave the guilt to him. It was actually becoming a sort of mantra to her.

As they sat in front of one another and ordered their food, Clary suddenly felt like she was on a date. The atmosphere around them didn't feel as it should be. They didn't seem to be two coworkers sharing a meal, but they surely didn't look like two people having an affair either. She glanced around, wondering if people could tell about them, but everyone (staff and customers) were absorbed in their own head.

"They used to serve the best pecan pie in the world. I hope it is still the same," Jace told her, tearing her out of her thoughts; and this little statement made Clary question him:

"I didn't know you knew New York so well."

"I did all my college years here. My friends and I grew up in L.A., and we were all so mesmerised by the idea of living in New York. Being in the Big Apple was something so glamorous to us. But in the end, we all liked better our Californian life. Only my best friend, Jordan, comes back here several times a year. But it's mostly because of work."

With a little nod of understanding, Clary smiled and they both ate in silence for a little while. She wouldn't go as far as saying that they were in an awkward situation, but she had to admit that she was feeling weird having brunch with a man she started having an affair with. _Leave the guilt to him_. _Leave the guilt to him_.

Guilt. Guilt had always been something that Clary considered as a weapon used by people to make others bend their way. She had always been a person prone to feel guilty when the right words were used against her, especially when she was younger. With guilt, one could easily get what they wanted out of another person, and Thiais was why Clary always did her best to stay in the lines of right, so no one could ever try to make her feel guilty.

And right now, Jace had the perfect opportunity to make her feel guilty, but did nothing of the sort. Instead he took the blame and was trying to lift the burden off her shoulders.

"How about you? Have you always been a New Yorker?" He asked, tearing her out of her thoughts. She shook her head, and explained:

"No. My brother and I were both born and raised in Seattle. We both came here to study, just like you, but the difference is we liked New York, so we stayed."

"Is your brother the man that I saw yesterday morning?"

Clary nodded, finishing her orange juice, and Jace nodded back, letting her know: "You have the same eyes." This simple little fact made her beam, because not everyone would ultimately see Jon and her as siblings for they didn't have much in common. Still, what he said just after made her deeply blush: "Your eyes are actually the first thing that I noticed about you. They are … _mesmerising._ "

Clary looked down on her plate to butter her toast and avoid Jace's eyes, not ready for this sudden outburst from his part. Jace seemed to understand that she was a little uncomfortable, because he did not give her any more compliments, and the two of them mindlessly talked about their lives, though they consciously avoided the dangerous topic of his wife.

Clary told him about Magnus, working for the fashion industry, and being her best guidance for shopping. She told him how she had wanted to do this job ever since she went to College. He asked her about her parents, and she let him know that she was closer to her father, than to her mother.

Jace on the other hand told her that he was an only child who never knew his father. He talked about his best friend whom he knew since kindergarten and with whom his raised hell. He actually very fond of the memories he shared with Clary concerning Jordan.

They talked for a long time, until people started coming for lunch, instead of brunch; and so Clary estimated that it was time for her to go home. She hailed the waitress for the check and when the working girl went to fetch it, Jace let out a small sigh, putting his elbows on the table and his chin on his crossed hands:

"Clary … I don't want you to feel to feel like I'm forcing you into this relationship. If you say that you want out, I will respect your wish and stay professional with you when we will be at work. But I truly hope a part of you wants to try and make this work as much I do."

Just as he finished his declaration, the waitress came back with the bill, and so he looked away from Clary to give the young girl his card, giving all his attention to the waitress. He told her to double the tip, making the young girl thank him with pleasure and once the transaction was done, Clary and Jace left the café.

For a moment, Clary wasn't sure how they should part, but Jace started walking in direction of her apartment, so she figured that he would at least walk her back home, which he did. They mindlessly talked about mundane things on their way there, such as none of them seem to have a particular liking toward cars, or the fact that Jace liked being outdoors when Clary liked more staying at home. Especially on cold days.

Once they were down her building, Jace said his goodbyes, and kissed her before walking away. Which made her think a little. The only experience she had of … the m word, was the one she had seen displayed in movies. And men never treated the women the way Jace was treating her. He was very open with her, and didn't shy away to show her affection at any time he felt like it.

She didn't linger on it, mostly because she was still trying to make her mantra a reality, and so she didn't want to spend too much time thinking of Jace Wayland, knowing that guilt would soon hit her otherwise.

When she was in her apartment, it wasn't with great surprise that she found it empty. After all, Jon was still working. She went straight to her room and packed her suit case for her next missions, knowing that it would be a whole week before she would have come back to New York, so she packed according to that. Then, she went to the nearest grocery store, asking if they had left over carton boxes, and she started packing for her move, pressing play on her Spotify playlist and putting the volume to maximum. Jon had always made fun of her and her taste in music, because she couldn't stick to one kind of music. In the matter of an hour, she could listen from Eminem, to Disney, to Mozart, to System Of The Down, to Edith Piaf. Jon was more the kind of guy to stick to one kind of music for the entire day.

She was cut from her intensive packing by her brother coming on her room, lowering the volume to a decent level and leaning against the frame, his eyebrows up with incomprehension:

"What's up with the carton boxes? Are we being evicted?"

"I found a place near JFK. I'm moving the first of next month," She explained, shutting down the music completely for she knew that were about to enter a big conversation.

"Why would you move out? Was that a clause in your contract?"

"No. I'm just being pragmatic Jon. Izzy's pregnant, you will need the extra room. And your apartment is more suitable for a young couple than hers."

"So? Izzy being pregnant doesn't mean you have to leave like a thief. It just mean _we_ have to find a place for the four of us. If you want it to be near the airport, we'll find something in this area. So you can stop this nonsense of finding your place. Are you even sure it's a safe neighbourhood?"

Clary repressed herself from heaving, knowing that Jon only meant well. She didn't mean for him to find out like that, she thought she would have the time to calmly explain to him, and for them to come to the conclusion that it was what was best for them, even if they weren't fond of this solution.

"Be reasonable, Jon. You're not going to start with Izzy _and_ your kid with me around. It's a reality that was bound to happen, and you know it," Clary wisely argued.

Jon opened his mouth to retort something, but seemed to think better of it and then simply said: "I don't even know why I'm trying to argue with you. Mom will do a better job than me convincing you to stay here."

He started walking out of the room, but Clary caught up with him, threateningly grabbing his arm as she lowly growled: "Don't you _dare_ tell Mom about it before I do. I swear that if you did so, I will make you regret it for decades. I'm the one who tells the folks!"

Jon narrowed his eyes at her, before whispering a small whatever and leaving her room. A part of Clary hoped that he knew better than to cross her on this one; but still the skeptical side of her doubted that Jon would be able to keep it for himself.

With a heavy sigh, she went back to packing, her heart heavier this time; and a couple of hours later she was interrupted by someone knocking at her door. She barely frowned, knowing that it could only be Izzy, since Magnus never bothered to knock when he came to visit her. She shouted at the girl to come in, and sat on the floor while Izzy walked in her room to sit on the edge of her bed.

Clary had always thought that her brother had been very lucky when it came to find Izzy. She was a beauty, a Greek goddess from another age. Sure she was taller than most women (which she complained a lot about), but Jon didn't seem to mind the littlest. She had a fair skin than clashes with the ebony of her hair and the redness of her lips. Her curves were all out at the right places, though Clary had to admit that they were a little more generous on her cleavage now that Izzy was pregnant.

"Hi Clary," Izzy said, with a little tired voice. Clary kept her worries to herself and asked with a normal voice:

"Hi Izzy. How are you doing?"

"I've been better," She admitted, looking down with sadness. But before Clary could ask anything about it, she looked around, and asked: "You moving out?"

"Yeah, it's time for me to move out of the comfortable familial cocoon, and get a life on my own."

Izzy nodded with comprehension, before she let Clary know: "I was so scared when I moved into my own apartment. I spent my two first months sleeping with the lights on. I actually never told my brothers, because knowing them, they would probably make fun of me until the end of times."

Izzy had two brothers, one two years older than her, Alec, and one two years younger than her, Max. Both of them went to live abroad as soon as they were graduated from high school. One in India, the other in Australia. Clary had met each only once, when she actually met Izzy's whole family a few months ago, at the announcement of her engagement to Jon; and she had to admit that Izzy's family had hit the jackpot in genes. Though if she was honest, it was all thanks to Maryse, their mother. It wasn't that Robert was ugly, he was simply average, when Maryse was drop dead gorgeous

The two women didn't say a word for a moment, Clary being perfectly aware that Jon had probably whined to his fiancé concerning her project of leaving, and how he was so not on board with this idea. It was only when Clary got up to close her window (thinking that the artic cold in her room was no good for a pregnant woman), that Izzy finally spoke again:

"He told you, didn't he?"

"Told me what?" Clary asked with her most believing tone. There was curiosity as well as surprise in her tone, but then again, she had always been a much better liar than Jon.

Izzy squinted her eyes at Clary, suspicion clear in her dark brown eyes, before she simply said: "I'm pregnant."

Clary waited the right amount of time before reacting with a joyful squeal: "Congratulations! How far along?" She glanced at Izzy's stomach before adding: "Not long I presume. I'm so happy for you."

Izzy smiled, but did not share Clary's glee at the news; and though Clary knew why, she still asked the brunette if there was something wrong for her not to be ecstatic at the fact that she would soon be a Mom. For a moment, Izzy did not say anything, before she bursted into tears and blurted out:

"Why is life being so unfair?! My Mom didn't have any troubles having any of us, so why should I already have problems with my first one. And why is it even a possibility that it will be my only one. Life is _unfair_!"

Without a word, Clary took Izzy in her arms, rocking her in her arms like she would have rocked a child, but she did not try to tell her anything. She might be a good liar to protect someone she loved, but she certainly didn't want to give Izzy false hopes concerning her pregnancy. Especially after what Jon had told her concerning the upcoming difficulty of Izzy's pregnancy.

Izzy's cries doubled as she went on with her depressing thoughts: "And what if I lose the baby, and Jon decides to leave me because he doesn't want to stick with a defective uterus?"

This was a fact known by everyone who knew Jon even a little: he wanted children. He was one of those rare men who had been dreaming of fatherhood since childhood. Maybe it was the reason why he had always been such a good big brother to Clary. The fact that he wanted children was actually something that Jon told Izzy on their second date, because he wanted to make sure that she also wanted to have children before continuing of pursuing her. Jon always loved seeing kids in the streets, and was always keen to babysat for his friends who already had children.

But then again, everyone who knew Jon, knew another thing: he adored Izzy.

"Jon would never leave you because you can't have children, Izzy. I think he'd rather give up his dream of being a father than to lose you. He loves you too much to afford to lose you," Clary reasoned, sure of herself. Jon looked at Izzy the exact same way their father looked at their mother, even after more than thirty-five years of marriage.

"You can't be so sure," Izzy argued between two sobs. " Tons of couples split up because of the impossibility of procreating. I've looked it up, and the numbers are _sooooo_ high. Jon is going to leave me at the altar, and I'll end up as an old cat lady because my uterus doesn't work like every other uterus on the planet does."

Clary was about to make a statement that she couldn't be for sure that her uterus was the problem, that after all, the medicine concerning pregnancy was still something that modern medicine could not be a hundred percent sure, but she stopped herself. Right now Izzy didn't need reason, she simply needed comfort, and so she told her the one thing she was sure of:

"I can promise you that jones not going to leave you. Especially not for this reason. Jon loves you too much to let you go. So far, you're just being a pessimist. You've made it so far. Maybe you won't lose the baby. You shouldn't be so negative about this pregnancy when it barely started, or even your relationship with Jon when your planning a lifetime together."

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Jace's PoV, sort of**

 **So, some of you asked for a Jace's** **point-of-view,**

 **Here is it, but it's not completely his point-of-view.**

 **You will get it as you will read**

 **Jace:** I did what you told me not to do.

 **Jordan:** You had sex with her, again? Why is she even coming back to you, you're supposed to be boring in bed.

 **Jace:** Having had only one woman doesn't mean that I'm boring in bed, just that I'm more skilled. But yes. She agreed to have a relationship with me.

 **Jordan:** So you have a mistress. Who would have thought that YOU of all people would get yourself a mistress. Haha.

 **Jace:** No. She's not my mistress, she's my girlfriend.

 **Jordan:** Dude, you're still married. Whatever label you want to put on it, the rest of the world will still call her a mistress.

 **Jace:** Well, she's not.

 **Jordan:** Is she even THAT hot? Because Seelie is pretty hot to begin with. I mean, are you that lucky of a bastard to score tow beautiful women at the same time?

 **Jace:** I'm telling you, Jordan, she's a babe. Great shape, fair skin, red hair, green eyes that can see right through you. Smart pouty mouth.

 **Jordan:** Redhead, uh? You do have a type. And how is she handling the whole divorce part?

 **Jace:** Not really well. I think she doesn't believe me when I tell her that I'm divorcing Seelie. She didn't even want to hear her name, or why I'm divorcing her.

 **Jordan:** Weird. Maybe it's because she likes the thrill of getting it with a married man.

 **Jace:** I don't think so. She freaked out when she realised I was married. Plus, she seems to think a lot about it. I think she feels guilty about it.

 **Jordan:** That's a normal reaction.

 **Jace:** Maybe I should wait and court her when the divorce is pronounced.

 **Jordan:** We already had this discussion, and we both know you won't do it. First you have to work with her on a daily basis. Second, if she's that hot, imagine a guy starts flirting with her and gets her before you make a move. If she's as smart as you say, she'll take the available guy.

 **Jace:** True.

 **Jordan:** Now, real question, because you still didn't tell me. How good is she in bed?

 **Jace:** Wet dream worthy.

 **Jordan:** Maybe I should come to New York and see for myself

 **Jace:** You do that and I break your arm.

 **Jordan:** Okay. Another question, do you see yourself building something real with her, after the whole Seelie divorce is done?

.

.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **㈏4Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed㈏4**

 **.**

 **~ So, I will be honest, I am very excited to read your reviews. Because for once, there is so much for you to talk about. The** **pregnancy, the texts with Jace's boyfriend, Clary's move, and Clace finally starting off. Please tell me what you think about it all !**

 **~ What do you think will happen next, though?**

 **~Also, there is a Pinterest board of this story, so go check it out**

 **Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9 Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


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